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+--- Thread: My husband left me for another woman and she seems to want to be friendly with my daughter? Is that right? (/thread-31842.html)
Pages: 1 2
- angel - 11-09-2012 05:49 PM
I would she has your husband and now she wants your daughter to! F-that you should confront her and your husband! Just because he wants to keep trash around doesn't mean he needs to pollute your little girl to!
- blueeyed girl - 11-09-2012 05:49 PM
The only thing that you should say regarding this is to address the issue of his relationship with this new woman. It's great that she is being kind to your daughter but you may want to tell him that it would be better for the kids not to meet his lady friends unless he sees a future with them as it will confuse your daughter . Imagine the pain your daughter will feel if the relationship between your stbx and this lady friend were to disolve.
I would tell him that while you don't mind the fact that he has a lady friend...he needs to be careful when introducing children to "friends". Children do not need to be introduced to every gal that he brings in and out of his life.
- Advocate - 11-09-2012 05:49 PM
It's sad for the children when one parent has an affair..you need to sit down and explain some things to your daugther..you need to confront your husband..
- Tracy M - 11-09-2012 05:49 PM
If this woman is going to be in your husband's life long term then it is good she wants to befriend your daughter however I think it would be better in person and not via facebook.
- Shriekingcemetery594 - 11-09-2012 05:49 PM
I know it is hard seeing him just move on...it borders on the ridiculous, but you shouldn't confront the other woman for one reason, it will look to your husband like you are in a cat fight with his new girl and he will get at least a little pleasure out of the thought that two women are fighting over him, when in fact it has NOTHING to do with that. But, you know men are just that way.
If it were me I would talk to your ex, find out if this girl is here to stay. Make it clear that you understand that he has moved on, but that now you are separated there are new rules to protect your daughter. And the number one rule of ALL divorced parents must be "Be careful and observant on how your adult relationships will affect your child." If he has a new girl every 6 months that will be unfair to the daughter. As the non-custodial parent he has to be mindful that he should only be introducing women to his daughter that he is in a serious relationship with.
If that is the case, and he is in a serious relationship then he has to have a talk with the daughter about how him and mommy aren't together any more and woman X is daddy's new girlfriend, and he would like them to all try and get along.
Speaking as a woman who married a man that has had a child with another woman, be very careful with how you treat and what you say about woman x. My husband was not with this woman when we met, they had already broken up, so there was none of that drama, but after 3 years of marriage and 5 years of me in her sons life you would think she would refer to me by my name, and not "Your father's wife." I know that my step son loves me, and he finds it very hard to be around his mom and me at baseball games or school functions because he is scared of how his mother will react if he gives me a hug, or does anything to let her know that he likes me. That is no position for a child to be in.
On the reverse side, would you rather your ex be living with a woman who wants nothing to do with your daughter? That treats your daughter like a piece of furniture that is there every other weekend? I would hope your ex would have more common sense than to live with a woman who would treat your daughter like that.
So, basically you have two choices. Hate her and do everything you can to stop her from having contact with your daughter, which could wind up making your daughter very confused and possibly make your relationship with her strained. Or, talk to your ex about boundaries and what you think is appropriate, and what isn't. Hopefully you two can work together to have this situation not impact your daughter in a highly negative way.
- monmichka - 11-09-2012 05:49 PM
Confront your husband and tell him to tell that floozy to stay the-you-know-what away from your daughter. What a trouble maker.
- Jdrums09 - 11-09-2012 05:49 PM
yes it is right the other woman
has to be responsible enough
at least not to mistreat the child
she is being mature you should
at least be pleased with that
- sugargliderqueen - 11-09-2012 05:49 PM
i would sit down and talk to him and maybe the girlfriend at the same time. i would tell them it is time to tell the daughter the truth. i think the daughter will feel deceived having befriended this woman not knowing what role she really plays in the family. she's old enough to know and deserves to know. if they don't want to tell her i would anyways. but i would be better if it came from him. that is based off how i thought at that age and how i would be with my daughter.
- genetomas82 - 11-09-2012 05:49 PM
yes... confront her.
tell her to stay away from your daughter...
- Trinity - 11-09-2012 05:49 PM
I think it is not necessary, since you ex is not making it a secret, and your daughter also knows that. I would hold off unless there is a reason to confront after all, she is now a step mother. It's hard to accept but that is how it works. Don't feel cheated, or like there is a competition between you and her...just accept and if there anything you need to clarify like setting the bar, then talk to your ex instead.