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+--- Thread: Alright ladies and gents....tough question.? (/thread-100150.html)
Alright ladies and gents....tough question.? - ILeftMyHeartinOdessa - 02-19-2014 12:44 PM
I am 26 years old. I have liked the same guy since I was 12. He is 31. Was 19 when I met him. I know what I feel and have felt is real. I don't know what to do or say. We are both extremely reserved, quiet, and shy.
I don't have his number. We see each other rarely due to conflict of current schedules. We talk some on FB, but that's not real communication.
Ladies, how would you go about making the first move?
Gentlemen, I am really great at writing letters and penning beautiful words. I want to write him an anonymous letter and send it to him, because I know his address. Guys, how would you like to be approached by a woman who had feelings for you, and you do too?
I just don't want to say everything all at once and spoil everything. Help!!
- Jose - 02-19-2014 12:49 PM
send him this question
- Sigatoka - 02-19-2014 12:51 PM
Jose has a good idea. approach him. the letter seems romantic.
- Hazelnut - 02-19-2014 12:54 PM
Throw or ofrganize a party then invite him and talk to him there..ask when he is free first see o that yhe can come make it casual like you are asking everyonr or say you have extra tickets for something he likes because your friend can't make ITN say do u wana cumwith me
- Red Arrow - 02-19-2014 12:58 PM
Approach him don't keep it confidential guys like being approach if you really like him go for it ask him out. I'm shy and would appreciate if the girl I like who likes me would ask me out.
- Holly Janessen - 02-19-2014 01:00 PM
I don't think I would write him a letter, even though that is very beautiful and thoughtful. I think it might come off as too keen. Why don't you ask him out for coffee? or something simple and non intimidating, try to flirt with him, see how he reacts. It is hard to know truly what someone is like until you have dated him, even though you have known him for awhile, what if he picks his nose or farts loudly in public? all very possible. ( disgustingly enough, it is SO true) What I am saying is go for a more casual non intimidating approach, lunch at a new cafe? or a walk? outdoor movie? and get to know him more. To be 100% honest the letter might come off as stalker-ish. Lastly don't put all eggs in one basket, I once was head over heels for someone and it ended horrifically. So be careful I know what I said it is a bit harsh but it is better to hear it from me, then to learn it the hard way.
Good luck!
- Extreme - 02-19-2014 01:01 PM
you've liked him for over ten years and said nothing wtf
- Gordon - 02-19-2014 01:02 PM
I'm a guy and I'd react by first blushing and trying to find out who it is and maybe go on a date with that person
- Waterdragon - 02-19-2014 01:04 PM
how could you spoil anything??? if you send an anonymous letter what does that achieve??? if you dont tell him everything about how you feel how does that help???
i want honesty and yes when i was younger i was painfully shy so if you want to say something say it dont hide
if he feels the same way then great if he does not then what have you lost not a single thing
how can you spoil something that is not there???
- Variable 46 - 02-19-2014 01:04 PM
I know this is difficult but...you're TWENTY-SIX and he's THIRTY-ONE. Life is short and our youth is shorter and you two are WASTING TIME. Don't bother with anonymous letters and flirting...! Cowgirl Up and just go get him! Here's one way how:
Send him a note, tell him you want to meet with him. Overcome the differences in your schedules (you're just using that as an excuse anyway) and DO meet with him...over coffee, a walk in the park, a stroll through the mall, some casual activity of that nature but also one that affords some quiet and privacy.
Tell him you've found him real interesting on Facebook but you think that's limiting and you want to get to know him better. Ask him if he wants to get to know you better too? If he says "yes" then you're in the sugar. Tell him you'd like to start hanging out a bit more with him then. Have a couple suggestions in mind, some activities that are fun but not necessarily romantic (yet)...some things you'd do with girl friends as well as guy friends, for example. Name a date and place. Have a couple options, in case your first suggestion or two don't work for him. If you have fun on these outings, then suggest a few more and let nature take its course.
IF he says "no" when you suggest getting to know each other better, DON'T be discouraged. This is the sort of response a shy guy will sometimes give out, when confronted with something unexpectedly personal like this. Have a casual response ready; a small laugh, and "Oh, that's okay! I'm not forward like this at all, but I understand...but if you change your mind, well, send me a message!" And then let him think it over. Chances are, he'll come to his senses after he's adjusted to the idea.
So there you go. Remember that fortune favors the bold.
Good luck!