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Why are many gay people so 'in your face' with their sexuality? - nick b - 03-01-2014 03:42 PM
To me, sexuality is for people who are intent on missing the point entirely. Why is it such a big deal?
I understand that some may not be comfortable being that open in life, so this is why they use the Internet. But why when you look on twitter bio's etc. do you see people immediately stating that they are 'Gay!'? As if they should be treated any different? Yes, it may be to connect with people you have something in common with, but no straight person ever really says 'straight!' when showing their personality? Surely everybody SHOULD be the same and we are no better than eachother in relation to our sexuality?
That's only a mild case of it all, once it starts to get very overt & in your face ( All people can be bitches, but why make your sexuality the foremost weapon?) surely those individuals are the ones making it worse for other gay men & women who fight for equality? giving society a stigma?
Just to make clear, I am not homophobic. My best friend is gay. Yet he considers it to be only a small part of his being, and is not what he is, or who he is.
Thoughts?
- dWali - 03-01-2014 03:56 PM
EVERYONE assumes that I am straight. I find it IRRITATING that strangers would start a conversation with me by asking about my kids (that I don't have) or my wife (that I don't have). It is much easier if people know I am gay, then I won't have to ask such discriminatory questions.
If you can treat me the same as you treat all straights (You don't ask them about their partner etc.) , then i won't have to tell you I am gay.
- Silver Ocean - 03-01-2014 04:02 PM
Maybe it's to let people know he's gay and just incase someone else who reads it is too.. There aren't as much gay people as straight people.. But it's true that they show it off sometimes. It's probably just something only us gay people understand...
- Jennifer - 03-01-2014 04:10 PM
I agree with you for the most part. A lot of the time when I first meet people I will someway slip it in there just so they know. I find it really awkward to become friends with a homophobic person then they start saying homophobic things to me about other gay people.. it just makes for awkward situations.
But it is a part of me, and I don't shove it in peoples faces. I do fight for human rights though. Including gay rights.
But I totally understand what you are saying. I have gay rights things on my fb page and I have a lgbt blog, but I do not lead with tha. I'm just very passionate about equal rights.
And I do think that people who initially start announcing their sexuality in a hostile way and always expecting people to be homophobic about it are kind of making us all look bad..
I do think it is ok for us to hold hands and kiss in public though bc as the person below me pointed out straight people get to have their sexuality out there, so should I be able to. just not in a confrontational way
- Sam - 03-01-2014 04:22 PM
Of course straight people say that they're straight- every day, all day long. They don't come out and say the words 'I'm straight' like gay people do but that doesn't matter because they do it in so many other ways I can't even count them all. They feel perfectly free to hold hands, kiss and be affectionate with their partners in public and they assume everyone is straight by default just because they are ('hey Joe, how's your wife? Oh, you don't have a wife? Better hurry up then! Wait....You're gay?!? Right then..') and they don't hesitate once before complaining about their girlfriend's compulsive cleaning or talking about the cute guy who works at starbucks. When straight people say things like that its 'normal' but when we talk about being gay its being 'in your face'.
Being queer is only something that we have to come out about and talk about because society has made it that way. There are many Jews who are extremely proud of their religion and many black people who feel fiercely connected to their heritage and what the ramifications of those things are. Our society has marked the blacks, the asians, the jews, the queers etc etc and made those things that shouldn't matter mean something. Race is socially constructed, but god, do we ever know about race and do we ever talk about it! My point is that gay people are minorities just like all those groups I mentioned and we likewise feel a strong sense of group solidarity because we HAVE to to get our rights and we have to be proud and stand up for who we are because who better than ourselves? Saying 'I'm gay' on FB or twitter or in real life means a lot more than 'I like to fcuk women'. It defies compulsory heterosexuality and it says 'I am part of this community' and just...So much more. Maybe one day we will get to the place where race doesn't even exist and liking the same sex doesn't mean anything more than 'I like the color blue' but right now that is not the case.
- Martin Lovelock - 03-01-2014 04:28 PM
I would be in league with your best friend there and tell you that my sexuality is a very small part of my life. I have a relationship with my partner of 5 years and what we do behind closed doors is just that.
Unfortunately as the old saying goes, some people don't step out of the closet, some people explode. But I personally blame the media for most of it. As soon as a celebrity comes out or something of a similar nature, the media crawls over it.
People probably see this and therefore play up to it... I have been to gay clubs and seen people running across the room with their arms flailing around screaming someones name. It comes across as an act and nothing more.
And yes, you're right when you say we should all be treated the same, but that works both ways. If we are all to act the same as human beings etc, then surely we should be treated as such.
- Lily Combs - 03-01-2014 04:31 PM
they like it
- Josuan - 03-01-2014 04:47 PM
I agree with you, as politically incorrect as you are. (Thanks for being respectful, by the way.) Sexuality isn't something that people should be flaunting around... it's something that should be kept in the bedroom.
Announcing your sexuality just to announce it is extremely unnecessary, but I won't hold it against anyone who has just come out and is proud of his or herself. True, straight people don't tell the world they're straight... but that's because they don't have to. It's taken as a default sexuality; homosexuality or anything else, isn't. And given the current position of homosexuality (or anything not straight) in society, coming out is a big deal because, depending on who we know, what we do and where we live, we could be ostracized from our communities, lose our jobs, friends and families, and otherwise be degraded. Coming out, therefore, is about us overcoming these fears; it's a front to those stigmas, to the notion that we're not normal. People who've known us our whole lives will be shocked by the news and realize they've known a gay man or a bisexual woman all this time... and we were and still are normal.
Of course, that doesn't give anyone the right to be a bitch or shove their sexuality down your throat. Homosexuality does not take over my entire life. It is an important part of who I am, but I am more than who I sleep with. People that DO make their sexuality their way of life... I agree, they've got it all wrong. I agree that some, not all nor most, of those people just contribute to the stereotypes and hinder our progress.
So... coming out tends to be a big deal. But shoving it down people's throat doesn't help us at all.
- wolfchick - 03-01-2014 04:53 PM
before i become close with someone i make shure to slip a hint in there that im bi. its so they know, so that you know they wont judge and leave later on. And if i have a girlfriend i will proudly show her off no problem! but some people show off alot and its not to get attention its a pride thing. like people who openly wear something that lables them gay, and it stops stupid questions that people would ask makeing things aquward as you try tp explain.
- ♀ Tufty, Aye ♀ - 03-01-2014 05:09 PM
Despite the fact that I have Venus symbols included with my nickname to identify my orientation, I have to agree entirely with you. It's all well and good being proud and unashamed of being gay, but it's quite another to assume it's the most important aspect which needs to be bandied about to all and sundry.
On the other hand, society tends to go to great lengths to focus on us, whether it's for our clothes, our hair, what we do in bed, etc etc, we're scrutinized ALL the time. So really, if society doesn't like us being in their face, they should quit putting us there. Right?