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+--- Thread: Is it actually possible to get over social anxiety? (/thread-106522.html)
Is it actually possible to get over social anxiety? - Just - 03-02-2014 01:59 AM
I'm 23 and have felt like nobody likes me for as long as I can remember. All my life I have been singled out and bullied. People today tell me I am beautiful and smart, but if this is the case why did I stick out enough at school that I would constantly be called ugly and made fun of? I have now developed social anxiety and depression and have had it for about 8 years.
I cannot help but think I am unworthy of love. I compare myself to my favourite actor who I also see as my ideal partner (though of course don't know who he is in reality, he seems to be a kind hearted and talented fellow, also a vegetarian like me). I can't stop thinking that that sort of guy would never like a girl like me.
I am sick of the negative thoughts in my head. People say that positive thinking will work but it's not that easy. I am so jealous of the successful, self-assured, confident people I see around me and in the media. I feel like there is something wrong with me, my friends don't seem to like me.. I only have one or two friends in real life but I feel like they only like me when I'm drunk.
The only times I have been able to enter a relationship is when I have met the person on a night out when drunk.. I rely on alcohol to make me more relaxed and confident.
I feel like I am a shadow of who I used to be. I have been for too many years now, an anxious ball of negative energy. All I do is feel sorry for myself. I really want to be someone else.. I can't relax around people. When I'm around one or more people and I'm having a conversation with them that lasts longer than a couple of minutes, I start getting shaky. I want to be awesome and confident but I feel inadequate and pathetic.
- Mase - 03-02-2014 02:07 AM
c a therapist and consider meds
- Christian - 03-02-2014 02:23 AM
You sound like you're a teenager or a very young person, in which case these thoughts and feelings are normal. As for being bullied, quite a few people in school are assholes who like to put people down.
As for your negative thinking, you need to remember that thinking negatively gets you nowhere. Look at it from a logical perspective. Being positive has better results than being negative, right? So you have more incentive to be a positive thinker. Everything has a good and bad aspect. Since focusing on the bad aspect does nothing, you should focus on the good aspect.
If you think it would help, I would speak to a school counselor or a therapist. Getting this stuff out in the open is a lot better for you than holding all of it in. Best of luck to you.
- Jen - 03-02-2014 02:29 AM
I suffered from social anxiety so I know exactly how you feel and what you are going through. I didn't think there was anything that could help and I really didn't want to have to depend on medicine to get me through. My friend recommended this product to me and I was very skeptical at first because I didn't know if it was going to work and what was going to happen but TRUST ME it changed my life. Seriously. I don't know what I would do without it. Here is a link, just go check it out and good luck!
http://bit.ly/1m91kca
- Vanilla Spice - 03-02-2014 02:41 AM
Developing confidence is not easy. There are many self-help books and articles on this topic, and many are helpful. Positive thinking takes some work; it is not an overnight, instantaneous change. You have to train your mind to think positive. Whenever you find your mind thinking negative, you have to transform that into a positive thought. You may need to look into some books on confidence-building and positive thinking.
Bullying has been a hot topic in recent years. That is because people are becoming aware that bullying can have devastating impacts on a person for a lifetime. Victims of bullying often develop low self-esteem and social anxiety which impairs their ability to develop and maintain relationships, pursue an education, and can possibly impact a person's ability to obtain employment and to keep a job, affecting their life-long earning potential. Also, people who suffer from longer-term bullying often develop substance-abuse issues.
- Taylor - 03-02-2014 02:50 AM
You sound just like me;
I have very bad social anxiety, I took Speech classes which helped me a little bit, unfortunately I have not been able to completely overcome this issue.
- Bubby - 03-02-2014 02:55 AM
A therapist can always help but you need to recognize your problem. It is not anxiety or inadequacy you have a very bad case of self induced low self esteem and self pity. If you would spend more time thinking about whats good about you instead of wanting to be like someone else you may pull out of this. One of your downsides is jealousy - what makes you think that successful confident people have it all. You need to start working on your confidence by being you and no one else. Fantasizing about who you would like to be is okay but it is the real you that life is about not your dreams.
Try being confident without the alcohol and if your friends dont like you then find new friends. Don't make the mistake of going through life trying to be what others want you to be just to be accepted - be what you are about and nothing else. It is your life and no one elses.