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+--- Thread: Am I selfish or is this wrong? (/thread-110156.html)
Am I selfish or is this wrong? - A - 03-15-2014 03:04 AM
Fiancé wanted a break. He has a lot going on with his family and is very depressed. He keeps saying he wants to work it out, he just needs space, he says his heart is with me, he loves me, etc. this break has been going on for 3 months. I have not seen him since he said he wanted a break. He refuses to see me. He says he's lost and not himself. He does call every few days, I don't call him. I do text first, but he won't text unless I do and he takes 10-12 hrs to reply, but I can see he is online using social media but ignoring me. I'm hurt that we can't work through this together, but I'm giving him the space he wants. What really upsets me though is that he ignores me, he only communicates with me when he feels like it, but I can see him online chatting with other females. They are strangers though, no one he knows in person. It hurts me that he makes time for them but not me and he adds them but refuses to add me. He wants another month or two of space to deal with his issues and his family. While I know things are very bad for him right now and I do love him and want to wait, this really hurts me how he just talks when he feels like it and ignores me most of the time. I feel like I'm carrying so much weight on my shoulders. I'm confused and miss him, but I hate just being here at his convenience. I cry all the time, barely eat or sleep. He refuses to talk about us other than when he brings it up. He says he loves me on the phone, but when he texts he acts like I'm just a friend and no ily. Is it selfish of me to want to give him a choice? I just can't sit here like a puppy waiting when he has time for everyone else and may never come back. I know he isn't dating or sleeping with anyone, but it hurts that he makes time for strangers /women online (all friendly chat though). Should I give him time? I just can't keep going like this wondering why he ignores me. I don't expect attention 24/7 but his words and actions are the complete opposites.
- Cricket - 03-15-2014 03:05 AM
I would start living my own life.. this man says he wants to marry you and then runs away to hide.. BS if you ask me.. Marriage is a partnership and you work through problems together.. what rules did you arrange during this break? is he free to see other people? are you? You give him more trust then it sounds like he deserves.. actions mean more then words and all he shows is that you are NOT important to him.. wake up and say goodbye.. this is not love
- 014beth - 03-15-2014 03:17 AM
I think he's stringing you along. I would tell him you found someone else and see what he says to that
- M. - 03-15-2014 03:23 AM
He's playing a game with you.
Stop communicating and drop him.
If he cared for you at all, he would settle this problem with your help.
- kate - 03-15-2014 03:32 AM
You two are supposed to be engaged. This is not how a married couple would behave. You need to decide if this is how he is going to cope with things when you are married. If it is, there's no hope for your marriage. If he really loves you how is he OK with barely seeing you for 5 months. Strong couples pull together during hardship - they don't push apart. I don't think you should give him an ultimatum. I think you should plan to move on. I'm sorry.
- User Of Yahoo - 03-15-2014 03:46 AM
This guy is gone and has moved on. He is stringing you along and probably sticking every woman he can in the meantime! Ditch this dude, he isn't even close to being ready for marriage!!!!
- sheloves_dablues - 03-15-2014 03:54 AM
There is no such thing as a break. He is not your fiancé. He's your ex-finance. When you break, you are broken up......
He's copping out. You're being strung along.