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broke up with my ex about 3 weeks ago and he's already hitting on other girls. WHY??? - Printable Version

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broke up with my ex about 3 weeks ago and he's already hitting on other girls. WHY??? - bee - 04-28-2014 06:09 PM

well for starters..im 18,(girl) and I recently broke up with my now ex boyfriend of 21yrs of age. we had been together for a little over five months. and don't get me wrong, he is an absolute amazing person. and before the end of our relationship he always treated me like a princess, and did things for me that he never did for anyone. and respected me in every aspect. but I don't understand how he can suddenly in the short amount of time start to hit on other girls. well to me is what I consider hitting on them.. for insistence comments on some girl's instagram pictures says that they look really pretty and such. and before our relationship started. he would write that on my pictures.(and that how I got the hint that he liked me) and during our relationship as well. and I know obviously he's not going to write that on my pictures anymore. or now he posts pics of certain things and hashtags them #hubbymaterial #greatfuturehusbandsomeday Wink and stuff like that and it really bugs the crap out of me. maybe weren't meant to be together but damn its only been like 3 weeks!!! how can suddenly be completely over the relationship and moving on. while im still hurt and dueling. I wouldn't do that to him. and after all I actually started dating him because I thought he would be more mature about things but it really seems more childish than I expected. I feel like all the stuff he's doing is just making the breakup process longer for me, because I still truly love him with all my heart ( and im really not into that cheesy corny stuff) but I really still love him and its not like I can turn the love switch and say that I don't.
for me I seriously have no intention of flirting or seeking elsewhere for quite some time from now. is he seriously already over me that quickly???



(btw im not one of those stalker ex girlfriends.. all of the stuff I see is either on my facebook feed and my instagram feedback.)


- Caleb - 04-28-2014 06:15 PM

You need to forget about him. You are obviously to good for him anyway. This is what i want you to do. I want you to go out find a guy that treats you the way you want to be treat.


- M - 04-28-2014 06:24 PM

Men move on faster than women because they want sex again . Very sad


- That Darn Ferret - 04-28-2014 06:33 PM

Only been 3 weeks? I'm sorry to tell you, but a lot of people start flirting instantly after the break up. 3 weeks he's given you plenty of time to get over it, especially considering you're the one who broke up with him.
He's not being childish or immature. He's getting over the break up. I've had exs who got girlfriends the day after we broke up.
If you couldn't handle him slightly flirting with girls after nearly a month of being broken up, you shouldn't have broken up with him. That's on you.


- Destiny - 04-28-2014 06:36 PM

Well, he might be trying to fill the void by complimenting/hitting on other girls or he might be trying to make you jealous?
I had a friend who broke up with a girl and he started seeing other girls straight away and he told me that it was to make himself forget about his ex.
Sorry to hear that it is troubling you though, keep strong x


- LoveGuru - 04-28-2014 06:45 PM

There can be a number of reasons for this:

- it's the rebound effect; he's doing this as his way of coping with the break-up.

- He's trying to make you jealous; I don't know the ins and outs of your relationship or who broke up with who but he might be doing this to get a reaction out of you. If it's likely that he wants you back then this might be a possibility although if he's a mature upfront guy then this is probably not the reason.

- He's moved on; guys minds don't work like ours, they don't hold on to feelings in the same way we do. I've seen this before and after a long term relationship, the guy moved on after a week and his reasoning for it was "there's no point crying over something I can't change, might aswell move on.."

- Possibly the hardest explanation to accept: he just wasn't that bothered all along.

Because I don't know either of you, I can't tell you which out of those reasons it is, that's for you to decide.

So what next.. You can do one of two things. Ignore him and remove all forms of contact with him until you feel you've moved on completely but this will mean that if you have a friendship with him still, it'll have to be sacrificed short term OR if you feel that you still have a good enough friendship with him, you can talk about it. Make sure you don't come across aggressively but explain that it's making it harder for you do move on. The downside of this is that it may come across a bit petty as the reality of it is that you're not together anymore so he's free to do what he wants and he's only flirting although you have every right to feel hurt by this. But if he still cares for you as a friend, he will understand.