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When will she trust me again? - talltoe396 - 04-28-2014 08:22 PM

I came across my gf on the internet.
The day I actually met her irl we kissed.
The day after that, I was sexual with my fb (for the last time).

I did it because I was not aware I was already in a relationship with my current gf.
I went on these kinds of dates before and in my (bad) experience, things could still go either way. Honestly, I didn't know what to expect. So I decided not to get my hopes up yet and change my life.

Anyway, I kept it secret for one year while staying friends with my former fb (who I had known for over 2,5 years). I was very afraid of telling my gf because I feared losing the greatest girl I ever met (which is my gf ofcourse).

Until one day my she found out, one year ago (together for 2 years now). After that, I broke off all contact with my friend.

Since then, she doesn't trust me at all and calls me a cheater and thinks I wouldn't tell her if I would cheat now.

At the time, my gf was 16 years old and she had kissed an above average amount of guys. She is now 18.

Telling her this doesn't work. The fact is I would never knowingly cheat on my gf. But I regret my actions so much. The thought of losing her tears me up!

What can I do?


- type o negative - 04-28-2014 08:28 PM

If you loved her as much as you say you do, why did you have to keep it 'secret'? Why did you even need a FB if you had found the one that was right for you? I don't think you truly loved her like you say you did. I think you just lost her and now you want her back more than ever. She's right for leaving.


- lisa - 04-28-2014 08:36 PM

'type o negative', maybe you need to read the above correctly before answering, as you obviously haven't.

Anyway, you did nothing wrong. You weren't 'in a relationship' with her, you met once and kissed once, everytime you kiss someone it does not automatically mean you're in a relationship with them, why did she think you were together?
I'd talk to her properly about this. Don't tell her 'you weren't aware you were in a relationship', because you weren't, so tell her 'we were not in a relationship', end of, full stop. How can you think you're going to be with someone forever just because of one kiss. People kiss in clubs etc all the time and they never see each other, they do not kiss them and then hold out to see them again and never go near another person, thats stupid.
Explain to her fully why you did what you did and where you thought you two stood. She is wrong to call you a cheater. You're not a cheater. She sounds like she's 18 going on 8.
You could even show her this?