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+--- Thread: FaceBook Friends with Ex-BFs/GFs? (/thread-156236.html)
FaceBook Friends with Ex-BFs/GFs? - ? - 05-14-2014 11:58 PM
If a woman/man is FaceBook Friends with former boyfriends/girlfriends, should that bother the current boyfriend/girlfriend?
Would such ongoing FB friendship slow one down in thinking about marriage?
To be clear: Yes, the FB friends in question were sexually involved at one time, but no, they are not now, and I don't anyone is worried about cheating.
Current BF/GF has asked that woman/man de-friend such person, but woman/man finds that controlling and shows lack of trust.
Current BF/GF just wonders why, if woman/man wants to really get serious, why she/he isn't willing to "forsake all others"? It's bothersome, a thorn in the side of the relationship.
Woman/man says to defriend would cause a big awkward situation amongst their mutual set of friends.
Current BF/GF does not want to be controlling, has gently mentioned it 2-3 times over the course of 2-3 months, has gotten polite resistance. Current BF/GF doesn't want to twist any arms into submission on this, but doesn't find this to be long-term acceptable either
- l8tr g8tr - 05-15-2014 12:10 AM
I am unsure. (Post divorce for me.) The last two men I dated I took off my Facebook after the breakup. One was kind of mutual - there was no reason to keep in touch. The other was a clingy guy that stalked me on Facebook and via mutual friends there too. He wasn't an evil stalker - just a clingy, emotional wreck. So I eventually unfriended his two friends too...there was no reason for us to keep in touch either.
I don't think it would bother me though if a guy I dated was Facebook friends with anyone as long as it was appropriate...i.e. not sexting each other and such...
That said, the clingy ex made it a point to tell me about how all his ex's keep in touch with him and he's so great, blah, blah, blah...well, no. Not true! His ex-wife blocked him on FB too because he turned out to be a cling-on...
I guess I'd be cautious but trusting until I had reason not to be. That's my general feeling on it.
- Sandie Pandie - 05-15-2014 12:11 AM
Current GF/BF should grow up.
- Dufus - 05-15-2014 12:21 AM
I believe it to be TOTALLY INAPPROPRIATE! If your relationship is serious and there is talk of marriage, then close friendships of the opposite sex are not a good idea, ESPECIALLY with a previous lover. "Platonic friendships" are a slippery slope. Sure, just friends always starts out innocent, but then at a certain point you're too close, sharing secrets and intimate details of your marriage. An emotional affair develops and you don't even realize it. You begin comparing your spouse to your "friend", and start focusing on your spouse's negatives. This is exactly how a spouse comes home one day and says, "I swear I never meant to hurt you, it just happened." I'm not saying that men/women cannot control themselves or be trusted. I'm simply saying a married person should always safeguard their heart and never put themselves in a situation where something just might happen.