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Not Invited; Should I go? - Precious P - 11-09-2012 11:19 AM
A friend of mine from a former job is having an engagement party soon and I have not received an invitation as of yet. She's invited everyone (five of us) of the group from our former job that we are friends with except me. We did not have a falling out and from what I know everything was fine between us (we do not talk on regular basis, but then again most of us don't; we catch up on Facebook, texts, and the occasional outing).
A friend of ours has said that she will take me as her +1 but I feel that if I didn't get an invitation that I shouldn't go. I am sure that it was an oversight and she didn't mean not to send me an invite but I also feel that if she really wanted me there, she would have sent the invitation. The friend then told me that I was being dramatic, of course she wanted to invite me and she probably just forgot in all of the hoopla (but managed to remember the other co-workers). Would it be wrong if I declined to go? Or should I just suck it up and take our other friend up on the invite and just brush it off?
Reading these answers, pretty much confirms my thoughts on going (our other friend said 'honestly, you're making a big deal out of nothing; you know she probably just made a mistake and you should go with me'). I still feel very confused because why wouldn't I be invited? I've been invited to other parties and get-togethers she's had and I've always gone. I've even gone through old messages and texts to see if I'd maybe said something offense or off-putting and I can't see anything that would give me the impression she was upset (I know, I have to try and rationalize things). In fact, the last conversation we had is when I congratulated her on the engagement about two months ago. I really feel it was an oversight but I feel a bit hurt that it would happen since she's always invited me to things. Part of me wants to ask but I don't want to guilt her into an invitation or seem like I'm asking to come.
- peachy - 11-09-2012 11:28 AM
If she is your friend just tell her you heard the news and congratulate her, then you can decide on what she says
- Daisy ♒☮♥ - 11-09-2012 11:28 AM
Don't go. It would be awkward.
- Mizanur - 11-09-2012 11:28 AM
no
- Patricia - 11-09-2012 11:28 AM
Count yourself as lucky because you don't have to buy a gift! It doesn'tatter matter if you think she wanted you there, you weren't invited. A plus 1 is usually boyfriend/girlfriend, not friend. If it was an oversight she will invite you to the wedding, maybe?
- Ms.Bubbles - 11-09-2012 11:28 AM
That's iffy. If you do choose to be your friend's 1+ drive yourself there if you can so if it does get awkward, you can just congratulate the bride to be and bounce.
I probably wouldn't want to personally attend myself. I would feel kinda insulted like "what in the heck did i do?" not to get an invitation.
- sparkle - 11-09-2012 11:28 AM
If I were you, seeing as you haven't been included in the invitation, I would thank your other friend and politely decline to join them. If you still feel not quite right about this, I would send your 'friend' who hasn't invited you a card to wish her congratulations with her engagement. It would be the polite and respectful thing to do and it will also make her feel guilty for not inviting you, which seeing as you're only human after all, should be a nice side benefit ;P mwahahahaha
- D - 11-09-2012 11:28 AM
No. It would be so awkward if you went and wasn't invited. There's always a reason for why she didn't invite you. I don't even think you should mention it because who forgets to invite their own friend? So many red flags right there.
- Joke R - 11-09-2012 11:28 AM
She didn't invite you Princess, she doesn't deserve your blessing. Fuck them, and burn their house.
- Jol - 11-09-2012 11:28 AM
hi ok well you should go as the +1 cause even if she wasn't your friend, YOUR friend the girl who is inviting you is inviting you to go to the party and you should ask yourself if you would go in that case even if u didnt know the girl whos getting married. if the answer is no way then dont go but if the answer is maybe i like parties, sure then go, but if the answer is but i actually like the girl whos getting married, then yes definitely go. i hope this makes sense! anyway its not good to hold grudges or be mad at people even if they're wrong or made mistakes or whatever. dont make it all weird too or anything. maybe a week before the whole thing just call her and be like i hope its ok, im going to be _____'s +1 i'm really looking forward to going blah blah blah blah but say it nicely and dont make it all weird. she'll probably either be like what are you talking about (Cause she's assuming u were invited) or she'll be like that's fine, or she'll change the subject, or she'll tell you the real reason she doesn't want you there. either way dont worry!!!!