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+--- Thread: Why would my husband join the same Facebook groups as the woman he had an affair with? [after cutting contact]? (/thread-27183.html)
Why would my husband join the same Facebook groups as the woman he had an affair with? [after cutting contact]? - Amber♥ - 11-09-2012 12:36 PM
So it's all over, after 15 months of cheating in 2008/9, and it only ended when I found emails between them.
After I caught them, they still went back and forth for months before he cut her off last summer 2009, and dedicated himself to me.
There was then an injunction on him, put in place by her, Winter 2009; civilly not criminally, I might add - meaning he was never found "guilty" in criminal courts and I think she set him up. BUT they can't have cut contact for this to have happened?
At new year 2010, he met her to tell her he does not hate her BUT that she's wrecked any chance that they "might have ended up together" or at least friends. I know she was devastated. He said he might well have left me for her, otherwise but he "just can't trust" her anymore.
I now see that he's joining the same Facebook groups as her - then he deleted them all except one - and this one was one on which she used to write a lot of comments and do a lot of "likes"....then suddenly a few days ago, they were ALL deleted. He definitely joined those groups recently - and coincidentally, he joined them as soon as her profile was made public by her (it was hidden before) then deleted them just as quickly. I have a feeling she saw him on her fan groups and asked why.
NB she has now set her FB settings to private and cannot be looked for on the search engine, making me feel that she has told him off for joining the same groups as her, he deleted himself, then she set her account to private.
Why is he telling her he doesn't want to know her, then joining her Facebook pages? I do not think he has her phone number. Why cut her off and tell her he's working on our marriage, and then cyber-watch her?
- Anna - 11-09-2012 12:45 PM
He's still interested in her.
- Steffie - 11-09-2012 12:45 PM
He is stalking her on social networking sites. You need to rattle his tree. How can you be happy with him?
- KAL - 11-09-2012 12:45 PM
Are you really happy being with a man who is still interested in another woman?
- BikerChick - 11-09-2012 12:45 PM
TELL THE JERK TO GET LOST. HE HAS NOT CUT HER OFF AT ALL.
- Katelyn - 11-09-2012 12:45 PM
I know this may not be what you want to hear but he wants her. Your his back up. He only kept you around in case they didn't work out. Plus once a cheater always a cheater. If he really loved you he wouldn't still long for her.
- Tricia G - 11-09-2012 12:45 PM
Here's what you wrote: At new year 2010, he met her to tell her he does not hate her BUT that she's wrecked any chance that they "might have ended up together" or at least friends. I know she was devastated. He said he might well have left me for her, otherwise but he "just can't trust" her anymore.
You are a fool if in all honesty you believe that he dedicated himself to you. He may have gone through the motions for a short while, but just a few short months ago, he resumed his inappropriate obsession with her.
And it is an inappropriate obsession. As in it is creepy and and he needs some significant professional help. If I were you, I would cut my losses. He cheated, he wants to cheat again. And he may end up being charged criminally as his obsession with her gets even more creepy.
- shefel0203 - 11-09-2012 12:45 PM
not to be ugly at all...........BUT YOUR STUPID! There is NO WAY on the face of this earth that my HUSBAND would ever deliberately cheat or associate himself with another woman and I sit back and ask questions on ANSWERS. I would be kicking his butt to the curb and telling him that my feelings are more important than his sexual gratification with this other woman. Honey you are allowing yourself to be tortured over a MAN.....and to be brutally honest no REAL MAN would ever put his spouse/girlfriend through this mental torture if he DEDICATED himself to you to start with....sorry for being blunt
- murster - 11-09-2012 12:45 PM
He'.s a dirt-bag.So is she.Get him out of the equation.Do whats best for you.He.s playing with fire and if you stick around your gonna get burned.Be careful best of luck!
They deserve eachother!