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Ladies, how many of you are getting a feeling that your hubby is more interested in computer than you? - Sweet Pinki - 11-09-2012 07:12 PM
He comes from office and puts on laptop or desktop and just gets engrossed in internet - games, emails, chatting etc.
How many of you face this situation ? Do you think there is some solution to this problem ?
- kitty♥cat - 11-09-2012 07:21 PM
Talk to him about it and ask him to limit time on the internet and spend some quality time with you.
If that fails, then disconnect the internet or set up passwords on the computers.
Also, dont tell him off or withdraw yourself from him. If there really is an issue between you two, that will just make him want to stay on the computer more instead of being with his wife who is acting grumpy and testy. Communication is key.
- Oh NO! - 11-09-2012 07:21 PM
Not many happily married cou0ples experience this. This is not normal loving behaviour. Tell him off, and withdraw all of your attention from him. see if this works for a week, if not, talk to him, tell him you are not happy and why you are not happy, tell him he is hurting your feelings. period. you know what to do after this.
- Stephen K - 11-09-2012 07:21 PM
I know this is the case. Part of the problem is that we share little in common. I relly don't like the shows she watches and I can't get the level of anime on the TV that I get from the PC.
But we both seem to be content with the arrangement (to a degree).
could it change? I think it could, but it all hangs on me and I can get to be slothful at times.
- Poopypuss4 - 11-09-2012 07:21 PM
That's a great question to ask on the internet.
- Your Mamma - 11-09-2012 07:21 PM
The solution is rather simple...find things to do in the evening that you can both enjoy together. If you have nothing to offer him, he will simply shift to doing something else that he finds enjoyable.
The simple fact is that after you have been married for awhile, you have had the same conversations (repeatedly) and the only thing you have to offer in terms of meaningful conversation is "How did your day go?" You ask a guy that and the response will be "fine, nothing new happened at work really." You might be able to talk about how your day went for 30 minutes - 1 hr but lets be honest, guys don't really care about the minor details / drama, like how the cashier was inept at the Piggly Wiggly (some of us might be polite enough to listen, though our eyes are glazing over).
So try to avoid falling into coming home, briefling talking about your day, eating dinner and than staring at each other (where he promptly goes to play video games because he has no interest in a stupid reality TV series or a chick flick).
Instead, go work out together at a local gym. Go take Karate classes together, go outside and play frisbie or catch, go ride a bike together...go do SOMETHING that doesn't make a guy say "please kill me now, I'd rather be playing video games."
The point I'm making is to try to combine YOUR desire to "connect" with your husband with a man's desire to keep his mind (and often body) "engaged" in an activity that is enjoyable. It is how many of us guys operate. It may be necessary to coerce him into doing something if he is "addicted" to the internet (games, e-mail etc.) but most guys just need an outlet.
- Michael - 11-09-2012 07:21 PM
Most men take to the internet because so many women have their face in a book, nook, or kindle. I stopped trying to get my wife to discuss any current event on TV news, because she could never fully involve herself because she was reading.
This is all down time we are discussing. Women zone out and are entertained by different things. If you want your husband to quit being entertained by the computer then you have to find something more entertaining.
Now you may say that it is not my job to entertain my husband. If your not the woman doing, then I will tell you there will be one someway even if it is a woman he created in his head from all the pictures, stories, and posts he reads.
You may say that why doesn't he try to entertain me. I will just about bet that he has tried to, and you didn't find what he likes entertaining and now he is lost for ideas. I would suggest that whatever you went and did or go and do when he tries to get you into what he would think is entertaining, is exactly what he thinks you prefer to do with your time.
Here is the big question you must answer. Pay attention to your habits because this is important. What are the things that your doing whenever your husband starts to walk around complaining about boredom when your totally engaged with what your doing.
Here are some of the things that have led me to start playing, surfing or chatting that began the habits you speak about disliking.
I say I am bored, she says I am not I ....:
want to finish making patterns for a quilt
need to download these recipes from some diet site
am talking to our daughter, or texting our daughter about her day, boyfriend, trip, job hunt...etc
am talking to our son ...... much less time because men hate talking on the phone usually
am talking to my mother, friend back home.
just want to keep in touch with people by checking facebook status an whatever else you do on facebook
I will bet that if you ask your husband why he is on the computer so much it is because he is bored
Before the computer it was playing golf, working on the car, down at the local bar, hanging out with his buddies.
Do you listen when he speaks. I start a conversation on a regular basis with my wife when she is doing something that she likes to do and I want to talk.... she like most men heard very little of what I had to say and could not repeat back to me the very last line or word that I said.
This is not a problem unique to women.
Remember that people usually reap what they sow.... so if your not getting something you want then your probably not giving it to that person... and if you are then you may want to rethink being with or how to interact with a selfish bastard.
- ? - 11-09-2012 07:21 PM
First your are the problem......Suck his hog, play with his balls, show em your cans.....if you have something more interesting than the computer then he will pay attention.
- Divine Devil - 11-09-2012 07:21 PM
Oh c'mon!! You cannot pull men from the nasty systems! They are like their first wife. Ha ha!!
try this -- Ditch the system!!
- Grace Under Fire - 11-09-2012 07:21 PM
No, husband doesn't do computers. I'm usually the one online while he watches TV in the evenings after supper and conversation (we commute together so there's lots of communication). Before computers I'd read or whatever while he watched TV-- so it's no different. We're still together every evening. We still feel connected during this time because neither of these activities precludes conversation or touch.