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controlling boyfriend-help, ten points guaranteed to best answer..? - Anna - 10-02-2012 01:55 PM
Hey, ive been with my boyfriend for almost a year and im just wondering if he seems controlling to anyone else. When i get up, i have to call him for at least an hour, i have to be on the phone to him any second im free and if im not he accuses me of flirting with guys on social networking sites.
He has made me delete facebook.
He checked my email,
He has my password for my tumblr incase anyone messages me.
He checks my twitter and made himself one purly so he could watch me on it and be in my tweets so nobody could flirt with me.
When i go out with my friends (all female) he accuses them of fancying me and doesn't believe im going with them.
If i tell him i just want some time by myself to watch tv, draw, look after my sister etc. and not be on the phone..he goes mental, he says by not being on the phone to him all the time it shows i dont miss him and that im trying to change him.
---but---
when we first started dating, he went round to his ex's house and slept there and told me they were just friends, this was a couple of months after their break up.
i admit, i have lied to him before because he has been so controlling, he found out and now seriously trusts me even less.
i dont know what to do, please help.
Love Anna x
- Lost - 10-02-2012 02:03 PM
He's controlling, break up with him.
- Marie-Anne - 10-02-2012 02:03 PM
Leave! This man is very 'controlling.' You have the right to freedom and a life of your own.
- Steven - 10-02-2012 02:03 PM
Tell him 2 eaither let u get on wid ur life or break up wid him coz he dont own u, who is he to check ur emails like that he dont own u, u deserve better
- flying carpet - 10-02-2012 02:03 PM
Come on WAKE UP ! You should know what to do - DUMP HIM NOW.
This guy is a huge problem and he has huge problems with his behaviour.
Get rid of him fast.
- Karen - 10-02-2012 02:03 PM
He's very controlling, break up with him and find someone who deserves you and also let's you have your own life
- Stuart - 10-02-2012 02:03 PM
hate to say this but you must leave him as soon as possible even if you love him as he will destroy your life just like my girlfriend's ex used to do to her. ditch the bugger and get on with your life
- Blah! - 10-02-2012 02:03 PM
He seems very controlling I dont know how youve lasted a year in a relationship like that.
Obviously he has no trust issues if you dont want to end your relationship you need to sit down and have a honest talk about how all of this makes you feel. If he doesnt see your point of view then you need to consider if this is the type of relationship you want to be in because it will only get worse if its not sorted now.
Its not nice to not be trusted and the more you feel controlled the more you feel you have to lie about little things, then they find out and trust you even less its a vicious circle you really need to talk to him about it.
- tone - 10-02-2012 02:03 PM
He's insecure. Hence the visits to his past ex & now he can't cope with his jealous feeling towards you & is exerting control measures so he has something he can stand in your relationship.
YOu have to either accept this is how he is or tell him to "wise up & grow up or ship out".
You can't, clearly as you are asking here, cope with life as it is. So I'd start by setting out some ground rules. You have your life, he has his & you share time together. But he doesn't rul you life, he shares what you give. If that isn't enough he must find someone else who can cope with his controlling ways.