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+--- Thread: How do you find peace after an argument with someone? (/thread-35459.html)
How do you find peace after an argument with someone? - Hero - 11-09-2012 07:48 PM
There is this girl on facebook who started an argument with me about how she hates my arrogance. But she knows very well that I am FAR MORE intelligent than she is and so posted one last comment and blocked me, deleting the entire status as well in fear of my inevitably dominating reprisal. So now she's had the last word. I hate cowards like this. People who post something and then see to it that you cannot reply! Damn it's beginning to eat at me. How do I just stop caring?
Well I know WHY I have such a problem with it. It's pride. I hate that this inferior indevidual has disrespected me and cowardly escaped without alowing me to "close" the argument. I feel as if something has been left open and she has prevented me from closing it.
Wait wait wait. I KNOW her. Pft. Would I have waisted time on someone I did not know? lol I didn't meet her on facebook
Wait wait wait. I KNOW her. Pft. Would I have waisted time on someone I did not know? lol I didn't meet her on facebook
- petitevoyage526 - 11-09-2012 07:57 PM
just step back from it and don't engage with it otherwise she is getting the reaction she wanted
- No Real Help - 11-09-2012 07:57 PM
Well, first of all and as a rule, I don't argue ... arguing is generally done over opinions and beliefs, which are pointless to argue since neither of which can be proved to be any more than opinions and beliefs. They may be personal truths, but truth is relative and the truth is not always a fact.
Before anyone can tell you HOW to stop caring, you first have to tell the WHY you care in the first place ... is it ego? self-importance? some misguided need to be "right" or ti "win" (at what cost to you)? some kind of macho male kind of thing? anger because you feel you're been "disrespected"? Why?
- Julia - 11-09-2012 07:57 PM
its ridiculous to get into arguments with people online
you sound arrogant
- stuff and things - 11-09-2012 07:57 PM
I know it's really hard, but if you really want to be at peace with it, you've gotta start thinking positively about her and the whole argument/situation. That's how you take the high road out. You don't sit and brood about what she did or said, you think to yourself, "ah, she's not so bad, someday she'll figure things out for herself." That's how you let yourself off the hook and close the issue in your own mind. If someone asks you about it, stay positive. You'll come out squeaky clean and she'll be the b!tch as far as everyone else is concerned. Your revenge is that you don't have to wake up everyday and be her. As soon as you start thinking of her as a nice enough person, but someone who is inconsequential to you, your pride will let you let go. Truly, think of her outside the context of this argument, she's not evil, she's just a person.
- Lydia - 11-09-2012 07:57 PM
Don't feed this issue anymore by thinking about it. Let it go. Pride will get you no where fast. Instead use this energy on something more important in your life.
- Betty M - 11-09-2012 07:57 PM
..You do not know this gal at all and yet are arguing over whatever, which in fact is not about her at all..It is senseless to waste ones time on meaningless things such as this..The first time she mentioned anything, you should have just ignored it and/or let it go, but you could/did not for some reason..I think you are probably right with the pride thing and as most people know, "Pride comes before a fall", and I've yet to see this not come true for people..Instead of concerning yourself about her and whatever was said, why not concern yourself with working on ways to humble yourself and becoming a better person..There are always things we can learn from others if/when we are open to it, and this may just be the lesson you need to have that will better you as a person, in terms of morals, principles and beliefs, and especially humility..There is not anyone who is better than anyone else, and this gal is definitely not inferior to you or anyone else..Her behaviour may need to be adjusted, but that is her issue just as pride may be yours to deal with..Allowing her to leave you feeling the way you do means she has power/control over you or you have given her your personal power/control..You are reacting instead of dealing, and it may be that you are like this with others as well, needing to have the last word..I would not concern myself over her by any means and would consider some introspection for yourself, dealing with pride and how to communicate better with others..I had a huge issue with pride myself for many years when I was younger, and after a great deal of heartache and scars, I found out the hard way that it never, ever pays off..I would not wait to long to deal with this..Don't carry all this negative resentment and anger around for to long because it can and will cause us to become sick in every way...Take care..
- Anna - 11-09-2012 07:57 PM
Think about it. You "met" her on Facebook. You don't really know her in real life, and she doesn't know you. She is no more real to you than I am; I'm just a screen name and an avatar. Why allow what she thinks to disturb your heart? Particularly if you know it's not true.
If you find yourself obsessing about such an unimportant person, perhaps you have issues with a need to control others. Perhaps your distress is because this unattractive controlling trait has been revealed, brought to your attention so that you can't ignore it. Maybe it's time you worked through your issues. When we release the need to control others, the need for constant applause, acceptance and approval of everyone we come in contact with, our lives become much more peaceful.
ETA: You said "there is this girl on Facebook." That didn't give the impression you knew her IRL. If you know her IRL you could confront her in person or on the phone. But you can't control others' responses to you which are based on their opinions, just as they can't control you. The issue is your need to control others. Deal with that and you'll find peace.