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What all does child support money go to? - Ed - 11-09-2012 09:28 PM
I have been paying child support to my ex. She is demanding that I supply my kids with clothes and toys when they are with me. I thought that is why I pay child support and she is supposed to supply those items. The kids has bought toys themselves and she rwfuses them to bring them to my place.
- Ryde.On - 11-09-2012 09:36 PM
Typically ends up spent on :
Hand bags
Shoes
Manicures
Hair dos
and if there is anything left over ,, Lattes
EDIT : Do what most child support recipients do,,, Have the kids pick through the lost and found at school
- Understanding - 11-09-2012 09:36 PM
Sounds like she is being selfish. In my opinion she should send clothes and such with the children when they come to see you. It's not a bad idea to have a few things of your own at your house though which she shouldn't have to provide with the money you pay her. She should be using that money for all things the children need not for her own personal self.
- sheloves_dablues - 11-09-2012 09:36 PM
Child support goes toward the necessities of life. Whatever you are paying her is reimbursement for a portion of the money she has spent on food, shelter, utilities, day care, school fees, entertainment, etc.
You are NOT responsible for supplying a separate wardrobe for your children when they visit you. That said, if she refuses to send clothes, you don't have much of a choice, do you? Just buy them a change of clothes.
As far as toys go, entertainment isn't a necessity. Parents who care about their kids and want them to have toys buy toys...
I suggest you buy your kids a change of clothes and some toys for your house. The reality is that your child support payment doesn't come close to covering half of what your ex spends on the kids on a monthly basis. While I think she's being a bltch, it's not worth the fight. Just do the right thing by the kids..
- iyamacog - 11-09-2012 09:36 PM
To to support the child. Tho some may look at it differently.......♥♥
- dr.pepper106 - 11-09-2012 09:36 PM
She is trying to bleed you for some real or perceived wrong committed towards her. Or she is spending the support money on something else.
- Orange County Ca - 11-09-2012 09:36 PM
Legally you have no obligation to purchase or pay for any items or services for your children.
- TiltMe2Day - 11-09-2012 09:36 PM
Unless you have 50/50 shared custody...clothing and toys are supposed to be purchased with the child support you pay. Yes, you are correct. Child support is supposed to cover food, clothing and shelter for the children. (Toys...not so much. Maybe you can purchase a few items they can keep at your place. But honestly, for the kids sake...she should let them pack what they want to bring to your home)
- redpeach_mi - 11-09-2012 09:36 PM
Child support money is for the things the kids need when they are at her house, not at your house. You have to pay her because they live with her.
- gary b - 11-09-2012 09:36 PM
It goes to whatever SHE decides it goes to.
That IS unfortunate, but most states DO NOT allow "accountabiluity" for your child support. So, you send it to her, and she spends it as she sees fit.
But understand that to "support" your children they ALSO need a place to live, so rent is one thing you are paying for. Your children need electricity, water, maybe natural gas, telephone, and maybe (is this really a"need"? ) cable TV and internet. Your payments ALSO go for that, too. They need transportation, so figure you are paying for car payments and gasoline. ALL of these are NECESSARY for HER to take care of your children.
School fees, music lessons, sports, deductibles on doctor appointments, movie tickets, haricuts, glasses, braces. ALL the same stuff you would spend it on if you were still living together. Just because YOU TWO can't get along doesn't mean that your KIDS have to suffer a reduction in "quality of life".
[In most cases, your employer-supplied insurance MUST accept non-custodial children, ESPECIALLY if your Custody Arrangement specifically calls for it. Don't let THEM BS you! Check with a lawyer if need be.]
Note, though, that if you are following the letter of the law, then you DO NOT have to buy the kids clothes and toys. Bad, selfish idea. But you DO NOT have to send them home with the kids! Keep that stuff at YOUR PLACE! When you replace some clothes or a toy, THEN send the old one home to her. [Send her picture of the kids in new clothes and playing with new toys if you want. Pisses her off! "I AM buying new things -- and they stay at my place."]
There is NO "official list" of what Child Support is SUPPOSED to cover, but if you could PROVE she is spending it on alcohol, drugs, or her own personal entertainment, you WOULD have a legal case. Proving that will be VERY hard (like, impossible) and VERY expensive (like, a private detective who might find nothing at all). Best to just leave it alone.
Best to just do the best you can, and leave well enough alone to avoid the inevitiable fight that will hurt your children.