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+--- Thread: How much privacy do guys really need in a relationship? (/thread-40096.html)
How much privacy do guys really need in a relationship? - BioMajor - 11-10-2012 12:03 AM
Ive been with my boyfriend for two years and Im more open with him than he is with me. I've never seen his facebook or myspace. I myself don't have any. Ive never gone through his phone but he always goes through mine. He gets really defensive when I go near his phone. Is this a bad sign or does he really need all this privacy. I thought when youre in a serious relationship there is no privacy; is this true?
- sexy_redz - 11-10-2012 12:11 AM
yes its a bad sign he has something to hide sweetie if your relationship has trust he won't be like that i have the password for everything my boyfriend is on. he doesn't have a problem because he wants me to know everything. check out your guy
- *Baby Dust* - 11-10-2012 12:11 AM
Everybody is different, but there are no secrets in my relationship, we share everything literally. I always know where he is, where he is going, and have free access to all parts of his life, I dont push to know everything he willingly shares everything with me. And I do the same for him. It just makes life easier if there isnt any worrys, or "hidden" things, like the phone I dont go trough his phone but if I ever questioned or thought something was up he would gladly let me check it out, but if your man is getting defensive especially around his phone, you need to check that shit out. Secrets ruin relationships. And break hearts.
- missie60469 - 11-10-2012 12:11 AM
It doesn't matter if your in a relationship. Everyone deserves their privacy. What he talks about with his friends, is none of your business. As well as you and your friends conversations are none of his. There shouldn't be any secrets. I agree with that.....
- Myth_Understood - 11-10-2012 12:11 AM
Sweetie ... you might think that this is a serious relationship, but he doesn't.
The only time that privacy doesn't exist is in a marriage. Until you're the Mrs, he doesn't owe you anything.
YOU are allowing him to hold all the cards. YOU are sitting there quietly while he pulls this double standard crap on you. YOU are letting this happen.
YES it's a bad sign ! The bad sign is that you sit still for this, instead of telling him to stick it. THAT is a bad sign. I'm not saying that he's right (because he really isn't). What I'm saying is that you are blind to the complete disparity in how you treat him, vs how he treats you. There is no balance here. What is so attractive about this guy that you let him turn you into a doormat? He's walking all over you.
I suggest that, when you're not on the phone, you lock it and change your password to unlock it. If he even breathes a word of complaint, hold out your hand and ask him for HIS phone. Based on how that goes, you'll know whether this guy is a keeper.
Right now, my guess is 'no.' He's controlling (wanting to see your stuff without showing you his), and manipulative (getting defensive and distracting you from the issue at hand), both of which are hallmarks of a guy who doesn't respect you.
I think you have a decision to make.
This is my view.
- Pearl L - 11-10-2012 12:11 AM
no, i think everyone is entitled to their privacy