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Is this scenario considered cheating? Please read.? - Kelsey - 12-07-2012 02:56 AM
Hi I have been having this on going argument with my boyfriend. Now this is a while ago that this happened. About the 4th month we had been together he took a girl on a date and bought her dinner behind my back. I consider this cheating since we were dating. You know boyfriend girlfriend status. He doesn't consider that cheating or that it was wrong. Around this time I also had found messages on his phone and Facebook asking women out talking to exes etc. Now of course we had a huge falling out and broke up. Long story short we ended up back together and 2 years later he hasn't had any problems like that since. But on occasion I bring it up because I do think it was cheating and still to this day he doesn't think it was wrong or cheating. Please give me honest answers on this subject. Thnx
- Dlee69 - 12-07-2012 03:04 AM
Honest answer, you were not married. Cheating is a yes even in a relationship between two people. Cheating is more dishonesty, but some times there is no point of even bring it up and start arguments if you intend to have a loving and bonding relationship. You know your answer and you stand behind it based on your belief, unfortunately not every one feels the same way about that subject. You'll get all the support there is about it being cheating, and I don't have any doubts about that. You have been together 2 years and there have been no problems, all you are doing is digging up the past and old skeletons, so why even be together.
- Mamasita - 12-07-2012 03:04 AM
You were only dating for 4 months...it wasn't a serious commitment. The stage of dating you are only getting to know one another, until you make it official its definitely okay to see other people. So no it is not cheating
- Amber - 12-07-2012 03:04 AM
It's not the first week it's the fourth month. FOURTH MONTH MARK. No it isnt a year but in my book past the first two weeks should be considered a monogamous relationship. Obviously he has cheated on you you found proof. He is dancing around technicalities if that is even the entire truth. His phone and him asking multiple people out on dates is cheating. You made the decision to get back with him forgive or move on to someone else who doesnt like to have casual dates while dating.
- ? - 12-07-2012 03:04 AM
Yes, it was cheating. Anything that makes you feel uncomfortable in regards to your guy with another girl should never be done. If he still does it, then it's cheating--period. You don't fricken take another girl out and give her a gift if you have a girlfriend! Is he serious? Wow! That being said, you made the decision to go back with him so at this point you have to drop it, move on, and trust him. If you can't do that then this relationship will never work.
- brigette - 12-07-2012 03:04 AM
Anything he dos behind your back is deceiving, if he said he was going to and invited you along as well,
then it would have been okay, it would make me question someones honesty, and buying her dinner is usually something guys do because they hope it leads to more. No guy just invites someone out for dinner for no reason. Just remember it is in your past, but being honest about your mistakes is important in what sort of relationship you will have in future. He obviously seems to have a hard time to owe up. He seems to have settled for you, so i suggest you let it go, keep reminding someone about their past mistakes is not good either. I hope you can talk this out and settle it so you can move on to a better place.
- J and J - 12-07-2012 03:04 AM
While I can certainly understand why this would upset you, I wouldn't necessarily label it as "cheating." It was definitely a bad move on his part, but 4 months seems too soon to be considered a "serious" relationship. If you have been together now for 2 years and he hasn't shown this type of behavior since then, I would just let it go. No need to ruin a good thing by dwelling on the past.
- Topaz - 12-07-2012 03:04 AM
He cheated.
You forgave him.
So let it go.
- "L" - 12-07-2012 03:04 AM
If he hid it from you, he cheated. Why? Because he wanted to see what was out there... he probably asked himself, "is this the best I can do?". It was a new relationship. People make mistakes.
Now, if he has been good since that time, consider this: The past should stay in the past. Don't bring up old stuff and create arguments. He told you he doesn't think he cheated and you will never convince him otherwise. By arguing with him it only pushes him away, especially when it comes to the same subject that can never be resolved because of differing opinions.
Conclusion: If you love him and you want to stay with him, don't argue over the past. Think about the present.
- thunderingboot695 - 12-07-2012 03:04 AM
Yes! Cheater.