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+--- Thread: English teacher please help with this poem? (/thread-61401.html)
English teacher please help with this poem? - Amelia Lily - 02-16-2013 12:11 AM
i got given a task to write a poem on something in the world from a different perspective. could you please read this and tell me how I can improve it. also I you could please tell me what level you think it is? thank you
From The Skyline-title
I never chose to float up here.
These people, they detest me, I darken their days,
Overcast their blue summer skies.
I watch them cry, grieve for the sun like the death of a loved one.
That is my fault I tell you, for I am the cause of the lack of light,
These people crave to see.
But what can I do to make them not hate me, nothing?
I never chose to float up here.
I’ve been here since the very start, longer than every one of you down there,
On that perplexing planet.
Changing daily, my size, my form.
I may not look the same, but I am indeed the exact.
I have seen everything, witnessed the evolution of this Earth.
Some changes you have made, some are good,
Unfortunately some are bad.
I wish I could be down there, showing you your mistakes,
But I’m not however, I’m stuck bleak and unwanted in this darkened sky.
I never chose to float up here.
As each year has gone by, I’ve watched technology grow.
From up above I see mobiles, I see laptops, many a things.
I see people turn to the internet with their great problems,
Rather than a great friend,
I see the media create the perfect image,
Making those who do not fit the cut,
Simply hate themselves.
I see social networking and chat rooms
Plus everything in between.
I cry to you,
Don’t let this destroy the beautiful world you live in.
This is upsetting for me to see, as up here I can do nothing, nothing,
Nothing at all.
You must keep this world sane, don’t reIy on technology, I beg of you.
You should not doubt me, although I am hated and unloved.
I never chose to float up here.
For next time you look up into the forever dreary sky,
Don’t sigh, I plea.
I never chose to float up here.
Just remember I am one of few things that have been here since t
- poe - 02-16-2013 12:19 AM
The poem is great as is. As long as you right from within your heart and mind, it will be a true piece of art. Keep it up. I would give it about a 9/10.