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Autism thesis statement. Is it good? - Gabriella - 02-19-2013 04:32 AM

Autism is a disability that affects how someone communicates and interacts with others. The disability results from problems in the nervous system, which is made up of the brain, spinal cord, and a network of nerves that allow us to think, move, and sense everything around us. To understand Autism, we need to understand the symptoms, treatments, and what it is like to live with it.

Its for a informative essay. we need to write a 3 point thesis statement . What corrections do I need?
i really need help...


- Windwater5050 - 02-19-2013 04:40 AM

Your thesis statement is OK. My only issue is, what is your actual essay about? Is it about understanding autism? If so I would put that earlier in my statement, because as it is, it seems like a tag along.

Lets take your statement apart:
1. Autism is a disability that affects how someone communicates and interacts with others. 2. The disability results from problems in the nervous system, which is made up of the brain, spinal cord, and a network of nerves that allow us to think, move, and sense everything around us
3. To understand Autism, we need to understand the symptoms, treatments, and what it is like to live with it.

Which of those statements doesn't really fit with the other two? I leaves me wondering what you are going to really talk about. Is it understand autism? If it is on understanding autism, that statement should come first. If it about identifying the components and the research or causal factors, you may want to leave #3 out. Are you going to expound all three in the following paragraphs?

Here is another possibility if understanding autism is your theme:
Due to the staggering rise in the number of children who are identified as autistic, it is important that all members of the community understand the affects of autism. Knowing the causes, symptoms and possible treatments of autism will assist parents and community members in early identification of autistic children, earlier intervention and better acceptance of people with Autism Syndrome Disorder.

Paragraph 1 - Autism is a disability that affects how someone communicates and interacts with others as well ad the digestive and sensory systems. Because people with autism have severe problems understanding language and being to express their needs, they frequently have acting out behaviors as a result. In addition, one or more of their senses may be severely affected because they cannot screen out some input and it may even cause them pain, which again can result in self injurious behavior etc. etc. (You may also want to describe the different levels of functioning somewhere in here. 73% of autistics are intellectually disabled, for instance. There is a huge difference between, low, moderate and high functioning individuals.)

Paragraph 2 The disability results from problems in the nervous system, which is made up of the brain, spinal cord, and a network of nerves that allow us to think, move, and sense everything around us, etc. etc. (You may also want to mention that the jury is not out about the causes of autism, the brain areas affected, etc.)

Paragraph 3 - Autism severely affects education and future lifestyles of those affected . Schools frequently have early intervention problems and according to their level of functioning, offer classes in not only academics, but also in social communication. Adult autistic people who cannot live at home, live at home until their caregivers die or in group homes etc. etc.

Conclusion - Wrap up the other paragraphs and offer suggestions for finding out more about autism or something like that.

Since I don't know what you actually know about autism, the above are just ideas to improve upon. And I don't know how long it is going to be, some some of the paragraphs after the first ones, will actually be topic paragraphs for their content.

When you have a complex topic like this, I highly recommend you use a graphic organizer. There are countless different kinds on the 'Net and they will make your life so much easier. It is sort of like trying to drive across the US without a map. Once you have your essay's organization down, writing it will be a breeze. it gives you a visual guide to where you are going with each topic. Put graphic organizer in your search engine and see what you get. I guarantee it will change your writing life!


- Cindy Brownlee - 02-19-2013 04:40 AM

I like the answer above, however I have additional things I'd add as feedback.

Autism is a psychological disorder (I'd use this term instead of disability) that affects not only how someone communicates and interacts with others, but also how a conversation may be perceived by the individual with the disorder. The definitive cause (s) of Autism are not known and individuals present with a variety of symptoms and behaviours. (There are a variety of theories that are used to explain the cause) I will however point out immunizations have NOT been conclusively linked to Autism. You may also want to mention the five types of Pervasive Developmental Disorders.


Autism : Children with autism have problems with social interaction, pretend play, and communication. They also have a limited range of activities and interests. Many (nearly 75%) of children with autism also have some degree of mental retardation.
Asperger's syndrome : Like children with autism, children with Asperger's syndrome have difficulty with social interaction and communication, and have a narrow range of interests. However, children with Asperger's have average or above average intelligence, and develop normally in the areas of language and cognition (the mental processes related to thinking and learning). Children with Asperger's often also have difficulty concentrating and may have poor coordination.
Childhood disintegrative disorder: Children with this rare condition begin their development normally in all areas, physical and mental. At some point, usually between 2 and 10 years of age, a child with this illness loses many of the skills he or she has developed. In addition to the loss of social and language skills, a child with disintegrative disorder may lose control of other functions, including bowel and bladder control.
Rett's syndrome : Children with this very rare disorder have the symptoms associated with a PDD and also suffer problems with physical development. They generally suffer the loss of many motor or movement skills -- such as walking and use of their hands -- and develop poor coordination. This condition has been linked to a defect on the X chromosome, so it almost always affects girls.
Pervasive development disorder, not otherwise specified (PDD-NOS): This category is used to refer to children who have significant problems with communication and play, and some difficulty interacting with others, but are too social to be considered autistic.

Generally, Autism, PDD-NOS and Asperger's are considered to be part of an "Autism Spectrum"


- annie42 - 02-19-2013 04:40 AM

Cindee's answer was excellent but you need to know that the term PDD ..pervasive developmental disorder...is being dropped from the medical coding book. Instead, they will identify each type of delay separately, be it motor, speech, hearing, etc. I think it stinks. Also, aspergers is being dropped, which i support.

As to your thesis statement, it is weak. When you make a thesis statement, you should be making a strong point in which you intend to prove with your paper. Like this: Understanding autism can improve the lives of the autistic person and the people around him or her. With this thesis, I have to prove that understanding autism makes a direct impact on the quality and function of their lives. Or...Implementing programs into the community that raise awareness of autism can improve the lives of those who are affected by it.