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+--- Thread: Why does my ex wife dating bother me? (/thread-69016.html)
Why does my ex wife dating bother me? - Charles Wedderburn - 04-28-2013 04:17 AM
I have been with 5 other women (and I know it is selfish) none of them could fill the gap that she has left. I see her on a weekly basis to exchange the kids. Every time I see her I shut down, cannot even make eye contact, but I see that she is dating (maybe I should get rid of facebook) and I have intrusive and pervasive thoughts about the loss of her. What should I do? Addendum We have been separated for 1 year
- nadia - 04-28-2013 04:29 AM
becuase you still have feeling for her
- Shadou84 - 04-28-2013 04:31 AM
We are at war between consciousness and nature, between the desire for permanence and the fact of flux. It is ourself against ourselves
- bee - 04-28-2013 04:45 AM
Getting over someone takes work. You have to see her because of the kids, but you don't have to be on FB and whatever other way you are getting information about her. If you want to get over her, then cut all ties you have other than what you must have (kids).
- zilmag - 04-28-2013 04:53 AM
The gap ... it's in you. You gotta close it. You're somehow rewarding yourself for keeping it open. Bring it into consciousness and use willful thought to stop doing that. Say yes to loss and let it hurt, instead of pining. With practice your mind will teach itself to skip from "oh noes loss" to "yes, gone - now what?" And you grow over time into a person who doesn't have a gap in his life.
- fergie - 04-28-2013 04:58 AM
You need to delete her from Facebook and all other social media connections that you have with her. Keep your contact with her strictly business (exchanging your kids). Maybe you should take some time to your self. Maybe take a vacation to get your mind off all distractions of her. If that doesn't work, then try telling her how you feel or going to see a therapist to help you talk through it. All break ups take time to move on from. So don't worry. It is natural. Have fun (:
- olu michael - 04-28-2013 05:10 AM
divorce is like separating one's body from one's soul - do you believe in miracles; things can still change with right posture!
- InMyOpinion - 04-28-2013 05:19 AM
Because you are clearly not over her. My ex-husband had a hard time with that after we broke up, and especially when he found out I had started dating. I even remember him crying and begging me to not let the kids call anyone else "dad", which I would never do, but he was pretty upset, feeling like he was being replaced.
Moving on isn't about sleeping with other women, it's about getting to a place where you understand and accept that even though you may care about or even love the other person, the relationship was just not meant to be.