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+--- Thread: I just need to know if this is good so far, does this make sense? (/thread-70616.html)
I just need to know if this is good so far, does this make sense? - Karina Enriquez - 05-03-2013 05:40 PM
I'm writing a short essay, and I just want to know if it's good so far.
In today’s society it is no surprise to know that Social Networking sites dictate the life of many young adolescents. From Facebook to twitter, to Tumblr, and YouTube; these are the faces that keep society running. Have we as a society become so emotionally invested in our own worlds, that we are no longer living in real time? Many of us would prefer to text message instead of talk, gain new followers instead of making friends, we would rather pretend to be someone we’re not instead of showing people the real us.
It's not done yet but any suggestions? THANK YOU SO MUCH!
- Steven Lu - 05-03-2013 05:55 PM
It's pretty good so far, but i think you should change it to "From Facebook to twitter to Tumblr to YouTube;" Twitter should be capitalized. it would also be better if you did "In today’s society it is no surprise to know that Social Networking sites from Facebook to twitter to Tumblr to YouTube......."
- mommiepj - 05-03-2013 06:02 PM
It's good so far. Some suggestions: social networking is not a proper noun and does begin with capital letters. No comma after worlds. And add the word and after making friends,