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Question for Caucasion American Women ? - Ali - 05-03-2013 07:51 PM
im at my last resort since i can't get a straight answer from my female friends in my social circle so thought i throw this question out here to see if i can get some feedback. im 24 year old guy born and raised in america but my parents are from Iran. I graduated from UCLA and I have a decent job. I live in Los Angeles and we have a rather diverse melting pot here. You can find any ethnicity in my neck of the woods. And I’m pretty successful in filling my bed with black girls, asian girls, latinas, and eastern european chicks. But i can not for the life of me score with a Caucasian American woman. And when i mean Caucasian i mean the girl's parents are white her grandparents are white so on and so forth. I thought maybe white girl's just don't dig middle eastern men but then I’ve had very healthy intimate relationships with several Eastern European girls. So I am very confused when I try to have a relationship with a Caucasian American chick or even for a short fling I am quickly shot down on both fronts. In fact almost all of my female friends are the ones that denied me but kept me as a friend. And when i ask them about middle eastern men or like why were they not attracted to me i can't get a straight answer. it's always " i dont know" or they just say im not their type. And i see the guys they do date or have relationships with are either white men or black men. but no asians or mexicans or middle eastern guys. so what gives ??? do white american girls follow the news about the afghanistan war or iraq war and freak out when they meet a middle eastern guy ???? or is it that american white girls just want to stick to what they perceive is an all around american guy like a white boy or an african-american ?? ( i know this is marriage section but there is a militia of teenyboppers in the dating section. i would like 18 years older and above to answer plz)
question to -been there- so by you answer i take it that white American girls follow the news and geo-politics more than say Black women or Asian-American women ??????
i see what everyone is saying. their is a perception that middle eastern guys are muslims or are very very ultra-conservative. but still i don't know i think by the clothes i wear, way i carry myself, and first few moments of talking to me the white america chick would get the impression that i'm pretty damn liberal.
i agree with alot of the concerns women here are voicing and they are valid. But i mean why can't a caucasian women just date a Middle Eastern guy and have these concerns addressed; instead of black-listing them ??? it doesn't take a whole lot of time to understand his outlook on life, his lifestyle, meet his parents to see what they are about. i mean this is just casual dating or boyfriend/girlfriend deal. this isn't till death do us part wedding. why won't white girls just calm down a bit and date the guy ?? i mean really all these questions that a caucasian woman has can be pretty much answered within a few dates ; definitely by month's end. Like when i date black women, or latinas, or eastern european girls they are sooooooo chill. It's so much of a wait and see approach of GETTING TO KNOW THE GUY and HIS FAMILY and taking it from there. Isn't that what dating is all about ????? But white girl's from what i am seeing here are taking this to Zenith of
( got cut off ) But white girl's from what i am seeing here are taking this to Zenith of all Ends. Prosecuting and judging me within 5 minutes that i repress women, that my family is ultra conservative, and i must be this or that i am that. i mean wow. this is so disappointing to read all these answers from several white American women. but it is what it is. and it's fine. i learned a long time ago to fish at a different pond. and yet the answers here have given me a clarity of american white women's mentality which i can not help but feel pity for.
- Been There - 05-03-2013 08:01 PM
I think that the public perception of how Middle-Eastern muslim countries treat their women works against you.
Yes, you are American born and raised, but cultural values die slowly, so you are .. unfortunately .. judged.
Caucasian women ... we expect to be equals.
- kate - 05-03-2013 08:04 PM
Personally it's because I assume you're just playing me. Middle eastern, asian, and hispanic guys have two things in common 1. an understanding of chivalry 2. a mother who will hate my white ass. You're sweet and funny because that's how you were taught to talk to a lady, but you have no intention of taking me home and I know it.
- Alice - 05-03-2013 08:13 PM
Well, it's a bit of a strangeness with caucasian women. I'm an eastern european but I've been living in America for a while. It seems that in America, there's a lot of indirect discrimination around different races than white and black. by this I mean, jokes which carry over to reality because it's accepted to make those jokes, so people think it's well founded.
As for middle easterners specifically, think about how often they're shown as evil in this society. Terrorists, Al queda, you know, all that. Also, it's a christian aspect, middle easterners are instantly associated with muslims. And muslims are portrayed in a very bad light by christians since... I don't know, since the religion was founded. Society also puts in the media showing how bad it is for women back in the middle east, so people associate you in relationships with abusive and restricting relationships which go on there, even if that's not the case for you etc...
It's really just about that. I've dated a middle eastern guy once, but I found that our cultural differences were too immense, because my family values were very different, and our perceptions on gender and gender roles are very intensely different too. So sometimes, girls also find themselves incompatible with the middle eastern cultures.
- janetrmi - 05-03-2013 08:16 PM
It's hard to tell without meeting you personally to pinpoint what the problem is. You could be giving off that brother vibe. (Acting like a brother, rather than a boyfriend) You could be giving off a lothario vibe. (Acting like a stud muffin strutting his stuff, which is a big turn off to alot of women)
You did not say if you were muslim, but it is a preconceived notion that all Middle Eastern Men are Muslims. I'm sure you are aware that the muslim culture does not have a very good reputation in this country.
So, it's a good possibility that it is the combination of everything I listed that is keeping you at arms lengths from Caucasian American women.
Sorry I couldn't paint a better picture for you....
- DelaMooch - 05-03-2013 08:26 PM
Well, I believe that many white women may stereotype you as a man that beats and suppresses women. This is most likely due to what the media portrays. You may be getting shot down out of fear. If you or your immediate family are from the middle east, there are so many differences that would most likely interfere with your relationship, such as religious beliefs and customs. You cannot possibly get any different than the middle eastern way of life and the american way of life. Women are born free to decide for themselves in America. Women do what they want, when they want, with who they want, when they want, as they want. In the middle eastern culture, women do not have all those freedoms. Most American women cannot and will never be able to relate or live the life of a middle eastern woman. In order to truly understand such a drastically different culture, you must be raised in that culture. I cannot speak for all white American women but I do believe this is the main reason why you have been rejected. Fear of your upbringing and culture as a middle eastern man.
- Bitterbedroom435 - 05-03-2013 08:33 PM
Honestly? they really like you as a friend and keep you as a friend because they acuially like you as a person HOWEVER, unfortunately, the repression and misstreatment of women by so many middle eastern men and culture would sit in the back of their mind that they would not be comfortable taking things to a romantic level with you.
Its not so much freak out, they can like them as people and be friends with them, but I guess there is a stigma that goes with middle eastern men and muslim men because of their history of mistreating and repressing women.
its not about the war, more of a fear, of how they view and treat women. they are friends with you so don't think you are like that but taking the risk and dating you is another story.
People wont say that to your face because they probably really like you as a person, but middle eastern men do have a reputation for being the kind of parnters western women do not want to have. They probably don't believe you are like that at all, but its a hard concern to push aside, I guess. So they choose a boyfriend from the same culture to minimize the risk, not that white people cant be controlling, abusive or repssing etc, but because it is sso prodominant in middle eastern culture, there is that lingering fear, even if subconscious.
- anonymous - 05-03-2013 08:39 PM
Try to look as 'all-american' as you can and hold off on telling them your ethnicity until you get to know them. Judging by your picture, if you were to dress like a rocker or wear any jewelry then your skin tone would make you look like a gangster.
- sweetgirlsmama - 05-03-2013 08:54 PM
Call me different but I would not judge you for your ethnicity. There are certain ethnicities that are off limits to me because of my own feelings, but middle eastern is not one of them. In college and work I have met many different ethnic guys and there are a lot in my profession, and I have to say that the middle eastern guys are some of the nicest most polite I have met, along with Asian guys, they are always so nice. I kind if would prefer a person of a different ethnic background over the cocky white guys around here. Good luck, the right lady is out there.
- curvedWanderer669 - 05-03-2013 09:08 PM
As a 40-something Causasion American woman, I must say that I am attracted to a certain "type" of men.
I like distinguished men in their 50's who are : educated, articulate, intelligent, respectful, compassionate, honest, loyal, and empathetic.
Religious faith is very important to me as well.
I have dated liberal men, politics are not important, but I absolutely will not date a non-Christian.
Most Christians are adamant about dating within our faith, as not to cause problems later on if the relationship develops into something more serious.