I think I like my best guy friend...but he has a girlfriend?

[Sammy]

Okay, so I have this friend...he's been my best friend for 4 years, we know eachother SO well its scary. He's legit like a brother to me. He's the nicest guy I've ever met. In 4th grade towards the end of the year, I told him I liked him and he said he liked me back. In the begining of 5th grade, he asked me out but I said no because I really liked him so I wanted to wait until we were older so we could have a serious relationship. 7th grade we had lots of classes together and we talked on Facebook 24/7. This was the year that basically led us to become so close. We did kind of flirt with eachother...but it wasn't anything serious. It was like a "flirtationship" I guess. In march we were going to see The Hunger Games together with a group of friends cause we both loved the books. The whole time I was thinking of making a move...maybe grab his hand or something....but he never showed up for the movie. The whole movie I was looking at the empty seat next to me..wishing he was there. In April he told me he liked two girls. This girl Jamie, and "Girl 2"
He gave me hints and wouldn't tell me who it was so I guessed it was me. About 10 days later...he got a girlfriend. I didn't like her at all, and I have no clue why I just HATED her. In june we got into fights over his girlfriend and it almost ruined our friendship completely. During the summer she texted me and we talked cause my friend thought it would be good for us. I was civil to her, like I talk to her and I'm nice to her..but I still hate her. Whenever I see his girlfriend I think "she gets to hold his hand, she gets to hug him, she gets to kiss him" stuff like that. A few weeks ago he admitted to me that sometimes he feels he likes me too.but idk if its just cause we are so close because this has happened before, where one of us is just in love with our friendship. I always think how if I had said something when he said Girl 2, or if he had gone to the movie, or if I said yes in 5th grade..I could be with him..