Why do I want to be a mean girl sometimes?

[Lilly]

Some girls in my school are two faced and all and left me out of their group for no reason and everyone thinks they're b!t#y including myself but they look like they have so much fun. My friends and I never act like they do as in being mean AND having fun. Like my friends never go anywhere fun and hang out with guys but I don't know why. Ugh, I want to be friends with them and not get bullied like I did and I don't know why. I hate them, but I feel like I want to be them sometimes. They all have guys that like them and I only attract weird people.. I don't understand what I'm feeling. I'm a little jealous and I can't control it since they all seem so perfect with their 58 likes on random pictures on Facebook and all those nice comments. I don't even understand, this is them:
http://shady-gl0w.tumblr.com/tagged/me
http://w0nd3rstruck-k1ss3s.tumblr.com/tagged/me
http://fangt4stic.tumblr.com/tagged/me
http://fe4rss.tumblr.com/tagged/me

Here's my awkward self:
http://unc0v3r-y0ur-f473.tumblr.com/tagged/me

yeah thanks..