Being treated like CRAP by this girl? (Long Distance Relationship)?

[Naked Soul]

Let me cut to the chase. I met this girl on facebook in 2009 and became friends with her.We had so much in common like all the common interests like TV Series, Movies and music.it's like she's the another version of me. Well things were always rocky between us, we really never met, she called me once in 2010 and now in 2012 we don't have each other phone numbers nor we added each other on facebook. We break up every now and then it's been three years.We always contact via e mails and that to like once every three/four months.in the past she has this relationship with a guy whom she said it's her best friend and she did that just to get back at me while I never been with anyone else. While my life got really depressing and shit since October 2011, the month I told her how much I love her and miss her. At that time we started talking again via e mails and it's worth mentioning that she has spoken a numbers of lies in this 3 years.Everytime I caught her lie and she said sorry and always said she'll never do that again.She also made some fake accounts in past.Well, the day I told her I love her and I miss her she started treating me like shit and I'm going for more.It's like I'm begging her to love me! i love her so much but from past two years there's never been a day I haven't thought about her, I still pray for her and always supports her. All along this, I really feel she uses me like a back up. recently she told me that she broke up with her bf and now she's single but I don't get the fact that she stills plays hard to get and all her feelings towards me like she say that my writing to her meant a lot to her but I feel all of that as completely fake. I beem treated like a toilet paper but the thing is I'm not able to get over her while she's doing all the fun and happy and I'm on the other side is in tears. I feel depressed , anxiety, anger, rage kill the urge to kill someone or break something! I keep asking myself and wondering that spite of me loving and wanting her so badly WHY SHE TREATS ME LIKE CRAP! Well, she never told me to stop writing to her or to stop contacting her or anything! On the other hand, I can't fall asleep, I just keep refreshing my mailbox and I just keep glancing her facebook and twitter page! I'm super obsessed with checking my mailbox and wondering she might have mailed me! So, I don't know, what to do, I'm feeling so helpless all the time and think of killing myself. I'm done with this pain. It's just I can't stop myself from pouring my hurt in front of her like how much I love her and everything! I even wrote songs about her! We never ever met/called/texts in last two years and I know this sounds completely dumb but I can't get over her! She doesn't even care for me now and I all keep reminiscing about the time back in 2009 she was crazy for me and now it's like I'm her doormat. So, anyone please help me! I can't stand it anymore! Last but not the least, I feel myself such a pu55y but can't help it! I know, I'm the man but still I'm always pleasing her, she doesn't even ever asks me how am I doing?! I've to ask her to at least ask me How am I doing without her! I keep crying in front of her just to care for me and love me if she ever did. Sometimes all I feel that she really wants to tease me like she loves me in PAIN!! HELP ME, PLEASE!!