What would you do if your rather spoiled teenage daughter....?

[ionian23]

Solution: meet him halfway. Diplomacy makes you look more mature, anyway.

Some of your bullet points are reasonable parenting behaviors (that is, have shown to be effective in changing behavior and protecting your children from themselves), and some are not. SO: offer the following...

1. Email, Facebook and MySpace - with the threat of online predators, this is a reasonable thing for non-tech savvy parents to be afraid of. The best way might be to teach your father exactly what you plan to do with these things. Email today is becoming a necessity, rather than a luxury, especially in school. Prevention of a personal email account seems a little much, but that's his decision. Facebook/Myspace can be protected - show him how you plan to use it, and how it can be limited to certain 'invitees'. BARGAIN: you get to have email and EITHER Facebook or MySpace, and he gets to decide how many hours per week you spend on it. Expect him to enforce this, and don't be a big baby about it when he does.

2. Corporal punishment - this simply doesn't work, so you might as well tell him that neither empty threats nor actual spanking are effective in modifying behavior. BUT, you can't backtalk either. If you do something wrong or stupid at school, you SHOULD be punished somehow. Offer a reduction of hours on Myspace. Backtalk = no Myspace for the month. You get the idea. The whole point of 'punishment' is to get you to STOP backtalking. If you don't change, then the punishment ain't working.

3. Clothing budget: Erm - that's a good idea. Score one for dad. You SHOULD have a budget, and learn to use it. It will make you richer in the long run, and who doesn't want that? If you 'borrow' (steal) his credit card to purchase anything (including fictional parenting lessons) you absolutely should be punished, 'cause that's what happens in the real world, isn't it?

4. Boarding school: Hmm - this is the decision of your parent. BARGAIN: no trouble at school at all for one year = no boarding school. Basically, you have to prove to him that you're mature enough to trust. And do it in one big 'ol hurry. If boarding school is being thrown around, then you're skating on REALLY thin ice.

5. Wardrobe: This is absolutely acceptable for him to do. Deal with it. And, you will have to change if he decides so. HOWEVER, you might be able to meet him halfway again. Find out what his criteria are for
unacceptable, and then work within that. Things like makeup, hemline and neckline length, piercings, hair and what can be visible and what can't are all criteria that can be met by you. If you follow guidelines you both agree to in advance, it gives you the chance to dress in a way unique to you while preventing him from unfair blanket statements like: "You look like a tramp" or whatever. Remember, neither dressing unkempt or like a complete turboslut make you look mature or trustworthy, and you need to appear as both if you're going to get him to lighten up on you.

Good luck!