Im 19 years old, and I just found out I have a 3 year old daughter from my first time having sex. Any advice?

[Lilly]

I am sure you will do well, because you already want to be a good dad and thats the biggest secret!

You could talk to her on a web cam or the phone, keep it casual, maybe ask her what her favorite color is or how far she can count etc... You don't need to worry about how to be a dad just yet, that will develop as she gets to know you and trust you. ask the mum what she thinks is a good way forward, to begin with you can send her a present and ask her to send you a drawing in return.

Don't just spoil her with presents though, it is better to give her them now and then... Just keep talking to her on the phone a bit and learn about her from the mum. Her mother will probably appreciate having someone to talk about her daughter to, someone that takes an interest!

She has done all the hard work so far and needs some appreciation... ask her for a couple of picture of your daughter, like the birthday parties, the first picture as new born and so on...

At some point you need to ask her what she needs for the girl, tell her that you want to contribute a bit but not be taken advantage of! (Start low, you may want to pay more once she's older and more expensive!!) Build up a friendship with the mother, that will ensure you get information about what's going on in your daughters life. Try to just be light hearted and fun when you speak to them... and all will go well, take it as it comes and don't rush things.

First tell people about your daughter that you can trust and that will be supportive, (maybe you have a relative or friend that has a kid the same age as your daughter?) Don't listen to negative people, it is hard enough as it is! The mother is clearly not just after your money or she would have tracked you down earlier. Treat her as an old friend you are catching up with and she'll learn to trust you. It can't be easy for her either!

I am sure your daughter is adorable and you'll get on really well, below are some helpful links for dad's and some tips on what to do with a three year old!!

Take care,
Lillianne