If your boyfriend or girlfriend did this, how would you react?

[daisychain]

It's a bummer you found these messages because they weren't meant for you to see and yes, I'm sure you are questioning the relationship now. If I were you, my concern would be that he was with me 5 months later because it was comfortable or convenient - or that maybe, he was also seeing someone else. Who is the girl he was chatting with? Do you know her? Have there been any other problems in the relationship? I'm sure you're disappointed and troubled by these messages, but are you really surprised?

You have to talk to him about these messages you found - be prepared for a lecture for snooping, which I assume you were - but now that you've seen them, you have to ask him why he felt that way and if he still does. Then you'll have to work out if you believe him and if you feel you can still trust him.

If he had doubts about you and the relationship 5 months ago, those doubts may have been genuine. Maybe you were fighting back then, or he sensed you were having doubts. Maybe he's a complete flirt and just can't help giving girls hopes with flirtatious promises of ending a relationship he has no plans of ending at all. Either way it just looks bad, doesn't it? If he really wanted to talk to you and work out the problems/doubts he was having, I'm sure he knows that you would have listened to him.

The fact that you've posted this here tells me you really value this relationship. Maybe he has been dishonest with you - but how honest have you been with yourself here? Is this the first time you've had doubts? And who is this girl? Do you know her? Is she a friend? I hope for your sake that he has a good explanation because I think you'll need one to continue seeing him.