What is the best way to get a teen to communicate?

[Jovet]

Find a group of 16 year old girls and leave them alone? Give her a telephone?

Or do you want her to talk to YOU? That's a tough one. Teenagers, at least most teenage girls, tend not to enjoy talking to older relatives. Young, cool adults in their early 20's may be OK, but for the most part, unless you share their interests, you are toast.

Does she have a Facebook page? If so, see if she will let you friend her and check her interests, then learn about them. Are you able to spend any substantial time with her? See if she would be interested in learning any of your hobbies, or see if she would like to learn a hobby with you. Knitting, crafting, sewing, and cake decorating are all "older" hobbies that are gaining popularity among youth. Maybe help her design a dress or how about a Halloween costume, if you have the talent? Or sports, rafting, antiquing, hiking, photography, cooking.. the list goes on. If you can't think of anything, look through your local rec directory for a class you can take together. You didn't say if she moved away or to you; but these hobbies and goals and classes can be shared through web chats as well. The best way to create a bond of friendship is through shared adversity: overcoming an obstacle together, creating what psychology calls a superordinate goal. You have to communicate to accomplish that.

The key is going to be to find the things you are good at, that you love to talk about, or that you are interested in, and matching things for her. She is at the age where she is able to start trying all the hobbies out and see what fits her, and this is the age when we (psychologically) briefly re-bond with our families before we turn our attention outwards to create a family of our own. Ask what she would like to do and be courageous enough to try it - be the "cool aunt!" Then she won't stop talking to you.

Have fun!