How should I punish my child?

[Andrea]

I would not punish her - instead talk to her and make sure that you are both on the same page. However please hear me through this:

She's old enough now to have her own beliefs, and either she's being rebellious and doing this for your attention and it's just a phase in which case you should just sit it out but still talk to her about why she feels like she needs the extra attention OR she might seriously not believe in God and is considering atheism. If that is the case, then although it's normal for you to feel disappointed that she has not chosen the same thing she has been brought up as unfortunately you really just need to give her the choice. If you don't she will not respect you and instead will be more likely to just believe what she wants anyway but she'll still be miserable. You will also damage this relationship.

If I were you I would talk to her and be honest and tell her what you're feeling but at the same time let her know it's ok for her to believe what she wants. No matter what you do you can't force her to believe something. Some people don't and that's ok. You can strangle her of course and force her to get confirmed and go to church or you can just give her the freedom of the choice. I am Catholic also but if my children were not to choose it I would be ok with that. Certainly I would try to convince them to be a member of the church but if they didn't want to I would respect their choice.

That being said, there's still a chance she will go back to being Catholic someday. Sometimes this could truly just be a phase as she's growing up and thinking more about her faith. It's also completely normal for a 13 year old, when I was around 13 I started to question my faith too. I went through a phase when I wasn't Catholic and I didn't go to church. My parents left me alone and eventually I did go back to church again.

Hope I helped and best of luck!