Talking to moms who gave up their kids?

[Ws Birthmom]

Your child/children was/were given to you by God. Your child/children knows/know only you since it's/their inception. No one said life was going to be easy, and the decisions you made to get 'here', are done. Now, either way you move forward, your life is going to be hard. No one said it was ever going to be 'easy'. Think about this, how many adults have you heard speak of the hard times that they lived through as a family. The love, admiration and respect that they have for their mothers who did what they had to do no matter how little they had, is something I will never hear my son say.
There is no guarantee that he will have a 'better' life. It will just be 'different'. Just because you place your child in what is a better situation at the current moment, does not mean he will not grow up with a single parent. Life happens, people divorce, people die, people struggle.
Your life can be hard, and you can be together with your children, or it can be hard and you can be apart. Trust me, I wish I would have had the strength and smarts to have reached out and spoken to someone who would have brought all of these scenarios to me, and who was living with the 'aftermath'. I was sold an 'open' adoption that really is only 'semi-open' and I am watching my child grow up through cell phone videos, cancelled visits that I have also forced my child that I am parenting to live with and throught. Without her sibling. After I had to convince her that I wasn't 'giving her away also'. Pure and utter heartbreak.

If you can live with all the positive and negative potential scenarios of adoption - then go ahead and place. If just one of them, for example an adoption that is 'open' and later 'closes', is something that you feel you wouldn't be able to live through, then you shouldn't place. Also, keep in mind that children who are adopted also have their original birth certificate sealed - meaning they can never have access to it, so if the adoptive parents 'close' the adoption. They will have to search for you with non-identifying information and potentially have to pay in order to find you....they also then, don't have access to any medical information that they may need as you age and develop health issues. There are many many stories of women who lost their children doing the right thing and giving the information to the agency that handled their loss, that never passed on the information. Think about that. If you are ok with this scenario for your child, then it's all good for you. No one ever brought this scenario to my attention.

Listen to your heart, don't give up, God gave the children to YOU. This is your test.
If your situation is 'permanent' and you see that you will always and forever be in this situation, then consider placing. But please, don't apply a permanent solution to a temporary situation.
Life is ever-changing, reach out for help, ASK, your children will never suffer from being separated from you.
I would be happy to attempt to help you find the resources you feel you are lacking.
Let me be clear, I have no benefit whether you choose to parent or place, but I can speak directly to the pain of losing a child to adoption when I didn't want to. It is pure hell on Earth.

Check out these FB pages:
This for truth from all sides of adoption - including the children who grow up to be adults:
https://www.facebook.com/pages/Full-Disc...34?sk=info

and this one to assist with finding resources
https://www.facebook.com/pages/Ws-Birthm...90?sk=info

and this one for multiple things to think about, has anyone told you everything you need to think about when placing your children and suggested reading material:
https://www.facebook.com/wsnaturalmom/notes

This one deals specifically with adoptive parent insecurity, these can kill any relationship after you've already given them your child:
http://www.princeton.edu/futureofchildre...ionid=3154