How do you just stop loving someone you originally wanted to marry?

[Captain S]

No. Infidelity aside, it usually happens something like this: two people unite as one...fairy tale ending is satisfied, and they run off to live happily ever after. The problem is, this is where the story begins, not ends. The "unity" is a philosophical intangible, it's real, but they still also remain very much two people. Two people who are still growing; two people whose perspectives are deepening and whose understanding of themselves and their wants out of life are continually expanding. At some point someone discovers that something they thought was perfect at age 18 doesn't quite suit their sensibilities at age 35. (Before you judge them too harshly for that oversight, ask yourself how happy you'd be anchored to things you thought were all the rage when you were 5. By now, you'd probably find it tedious and restrictive.) Now, add to this equation the blessing of children....they are wonderful, but they also turn a couple's focus away from each other in deference to the kids. Many couples never reconnect after this transition.
It doesn't necessarily take villains or bad people to fail at marriages....many fine people of good conscience do so everyday for a wide variety of very valid reasons. Before you judge them, however, try to determine how successful you'd be selecting something for yourself in your twenties that will still be good for you in your fifties. That's a tall order, and as divorce statistics suggest, most of us aren't that clever.