My first ever relationship...and the girl used me and cheated me...?

[Derek]

Buddy, I'm sorry and I feel for you. It's one of the worst things that can happen to a guy, because unfortunately you never forget your firsts in these types of things. I know it was your first, and it must've felt like it was true love, but this is just the first, man. It sounds like you are a stand up kind of guy that's going to make a wife very happy down the road. To explain, the getting too involved thing can be a tough one for guys in relationship. It's a guy instinct to protect. Most of us want to be really involved and all of that, but there are girls out there who view that as "clingy" and tend to shy away. Maybe she was one of those.

The best advice I can give you to stop the hurting (that I wish someone had given me on my first) is to unhook. You just need to unhook from her. I know it may sound a bit brutal, but just delete or block the numbers from your cell phone, facebook, twitter, screensaver, anything that could remind you of her, and take different routes to avoid interaction with her (I'm assuming this is in a school) but you just gotta do whatever it takes to put her out of your mind. While she is not in your mind, occupy yourself. Go hang with some other friends, go work out, go somewhere, play a sport, just DO NOT sit and think about her. Trust me, It will make you MISERABLE.

I mean no disrespect, but you mention her ex's and all of that? Man, she left you... It's not your job to watch over her anymore, or be her crying/consolation/friendzone buddy if she does not see fit to commit to you. That's not fair to you. All it will do is add on to more and more pain over time. You don't deserve that. You did everything you could to make it work. You tried. That's all you can give. Unhook is my advice.