Writers: If you were published...(Random writerly questions)?

[S.K.]

1) Offer to read and blurb writers soon-to-be published manuscripts?
You bet. My publisher needs to know I'm a team player. This is simply good business.

2) Have a blog dedicated (keyword) to offering advice to aspiring authors?
Again, pretty much expected of the team player.

3) Have a Twitter account, Author blog, or author Facebook fan page?
And more team player BS--how am I supposed to make time to write, again?

4) Read the good, bad, and ugly reviews for your book?
I will try not to read my reviews and let writing friends direct me to the good ones--but I know most authors do not have the strength to do this. (And yes, they're stung by bad reviews.)

5) Criticize other published authors publicly without being questioned or baited by fans or an interviewer?
Never, even those who richly deserve it. My name is synonymous with a brand name once I'm published, and I will not tarnish it.

6) Do a blog tour if you're asked?
I'm not really sure what a blog tour is, but sure.

7) Do a regular national tour if you're asked?
Definitely. I have writing acquaintances all over the US, people I've met online. I'd love to meet them and sell some of my books in a single trip.

8) Sign copies of your books for the local bookstore so fans can get signed copies when they buy the book?
Absolutely. I already signed a writing conference program sheet. The girl could not be convinced I was nobody, just some bozo with a few short stories.
9) Let readers send you their books so you can sign them and mail them back?

10) Do an overseas book tour if your foreign publisher asked (assuming you've sold foreign rights)?
Yes, but I'd need hand-holding. Want to come along?

11) Give out bookmarks, bookplates, clothing branded with your book's title (like hoodies that some authors giveaway), pins, or other tangible items branded with your book to fans? [You'd have to pay for it.]
If and only if my publisher believed the uptick in sales would make it worthwhile. That seems unlikely with clothing.

12) Give away books to all your family and friends who wanted one?
No. I get a limited number of free copies, a pretty small number, in fact. If they like or love me, they'll buy it.

13) Hire an assistant?
No. Maybe a maid, though!

14) Hire a publicist? [Publishers don't do it all or might not put a lot of money into it.]
I doubt it. I'm pretty shy and don't relish 'events'--and I'm not convinced publicity = sales.

15) Communicate with fans regularly on Facebook and Twitter? [Some authors do, some don't.]
Specific fans in a limited way. I won't have time for online buddies. But I will attempt to add content to FB and Twitter for my fans often, and try to make it worthwhile.

16) Give exclusives (interviews, info about upcoming books, or whatever.) to fansites dedicated to your book and/or characters?
If my publisher thinks it increases the buzz. (What, I'm getting a buzz? For my *writing*?) Buzz = sales.

17) Hold a contest to have a fan name a character in your book (including using their own name)?
Sure. My work always has a few innocuous walk-ons. I might even try to make room for a character the winner defines, in a small role.

18) Have family and friends go to review sites and review your book?
No. If my book is good, I won't need to send in shills.

19) Quote the good fan reviews your book has received on your Facebook, Twitter, blog, tumbler, etc.
Yes. Here's my best so far: "A few stories save the collection from total mediocrity. [My Penname]'s “Whatever It Takes” is a satiric gem..." I'd be foolish not to use that.

20) Follow fans on twitter, Friend fans on Facebook who send you a request, or follow fans blogs who follow you? [I know this is kind of confusing, hehe, but if you have one of these things then you'll know what I mean.]
It 'costs' me nothing to return a follower. I don't have to actually view it.