Really depressed... Help!?

[Bubbleslove]

I recently made it my goal to be the best daughter I could be. I've let go of all my homosexual ties. (YouTube twitter Facebook gf) I let go off my best friend that they didnt approve of. I even quit a job for them three months ago. I'm goin to school for a subject I wouldn't really choose just to satisfy them. I live at home I have no money no job not enough experience to get another and I'm suppose to start college in Jan. I dnt have outside family to turn to cuz they all have the same religion aka view and hatred for homosexuality. I was raised to hate myself and I can't say I dnt bcuz I'm stuck on what I was raised to believe so... I decided to go back to the religion hoping to find happiness and also to please my rents, but now I feel myself sinking more then ever. My desire to b alone disconnect with my fam decrease in appetite increase in tiredness and aching. I'm 19 and there is nothing for me to do. I've been told to just keep trying but I'm tired. I'm not suicidal or anything but I'm ready to lay down and give up. I dnt no what to do without ending up on the street. What can I do NOW?