i miss my ex boyfriend what should i do?

[tinKWell]

i have been suffering from a break up with my ex. i'm 17 years old, he broke up with me 4 months 17 days ago. I lost my virginity to him, and i really thought he was the one it is a long distance relationship and because we hadn't seen each other for a long time a guy i knew was offering some comfort, i accepted it and we ended up doing things over webcam although i just stripped. as soon as it happened i sat in the corner and cried. once i stopped i went back onto my laptop and my boyfriend popped up and we got chatting and he said webcam i said yes but as soon as i saw him i started crying again and then he asked me what was wrong but i couldn't tell him because i didn't want to hurt him. a week went by and i plucked up the courage to tell him. He forgave me and said if it happened again it would be over. and that was when everything started to be good again. until my ex boyfriend before him. me and him were not on best of terms but i wanted to make things okay cause i dislike hate. so we got talking and he asked help with something and so i helped him but then he pulled me towards him and kissed me, i did try push away. i soon found out he had a girlfriend at the time and told her about it. and then there was an argument between them and she forgave him. i couldn't tell my boyfriend this because i was too scared it would be over so i kept it to myself. a few weeks later a rumour was spread around by my ex boyfriend before him (the guy that kissed me) that i came onto him and i questioned it to him and he said 'well you told me girlfriend so i tell everyone else' i came back with 'well she forgave you didn't she so why hurt me?' no reply. i saw my boyfriend a week later after this and was scared he knew about it. luckily he didn't. we then had an amazing week together, this is when i first had sex with him. it was amazing and i knew he was the one...until things started to change, he was becoming distant and not talking, looking really sad, then the last day of the trip we were on, he broke up with me. i was a wreck, and then i caught him getting off with another girl in a lake together. this broke me and i collapsed on the floor in tears. i didn't sleep at all that night or the next week, i wasn't eating either i went form 64kg to 57kg...not good! anyway things went on, we started talking again and then flirting and we got together again, and then ended up having a night together making out flirting that sort of thing but it ended up with us crying in each other arms because of what happened between us. but the next night we were flirting again and we were talking and i asked him 'do you think we will have it again' and he said 'i don;t know, maybe, if the trust builds up again'....and then we ended up having sex....this got my hopes up loads and i really thought we were getting back together...the same kinda happened a month later (september) we ended up flirting with each other and i gave him a bj, although he said he regretted it afterwards. and then a few days later we had sex, but then said a couple of days after than he didn't love me anymore, i have only giving him a bj since then but i have been in an emotional wreck. i feel i wont get over him. I miss him so much but he says he doesn't love me any more, but I love him :'( I feel I suffer from SAD (seasonal affective disorder) I have pretty much all the symptoms apart from loss of libido because me and my ex still talk about sex and how much we want to have sex with each other. I just don't know what to do any more :'( I am always upset and I don't want to talk to adults about it because I feel stupid that it has been so long. I miss him a lot and I just want him back so badly :'( I came here because I have seen some advice really helpful and i was wondering if there is anyone that can help me? It will be extremely appreciated!