I'm suffering from depression, need somebody to talk to?

[Paul B]

I used to have depressive spells that kept my in bed for weeks at a time. What's more, I have been perpetually lovesick over one person or another my whole life. Thoughts of suicide were never far away. I used drugs now and again, but we all know the road back to your feelings when you come down can be hellish.

Nothing worked to really change my situation. Therapy was helpful, but the feelings of worthlessness were so deep, talking about it could only take me so far. Having a sense of purpose was very helpful, but once those tasks were complete, I had to return to myself and the cycle of looking for validation outside myself. We both know that no one can really give us that. No form of spiritual practice or study did anything to alleviate my suffering. I tried so many.

Then I came across chanting. Nam-Myoho-Renge-Kyo. It was explained to me that by rhythmically chanting these words, I could change my own karma. I was also told that when one chants, a happiness begins to well up from within. An authentic, True Happiness that cannot be broken and does not rely on external circumstances. Try it as an experiment, my friend told me. The proof is in the pudding is in the eating.

I learned how to pronounce the phrase and began chanting it to a candle or at a fixed space on the wall. My friend said that I could chant for anything I wanted. Anything. I chanted for a few minutes a day, twice a day, mostly for someone I'd loved for years and whom I could not get out of my mind to be happy. I chanted for myself to be happy. I chanted to get this person out of my system and move on with my life. I chanted for this person to love me back. (The heart is fickle, so my goals kept shifting). In a very short time, the person I "loved" (more like infatuation) contacted me out of the blue. I couldn't believe it. Thus began an affair that allowed me to proceed with getting to know them without the crippling fear or people interfering with gossip. It was as if chanting not only fortified me with a budding confidence, but also neutralized anything in my environment that would hinder the process of discovering the realities of the person I loved as well as myself simultaneously.

The affair wasn't perfect. It was a slow process, but at least I had my foot in the door. There were times when I would not see the person for weeks, and I still had my depression to contend with. As time went on, and my chanting increased, I began to notice that the bouts of depression were getting considerably shorter.

I'm getting a bit long-winded here. I know you asked for someone to talk to, and not necessarily a one-sided conversation about a Buddhist chant. However, I just wanted you to know that if you are suffering, this chant will pull you out of it. It the real deal. You can create the extraordinary life you want because you already have the unlimited potential inside of you. It's called your Buddha Nature. Nam-Myoho-Renge-Kyo unlocks it. And when you start to become genuinely happy, you attract that same nature in other people/your environment. You and your environment are inseparable.

I married the object of my affection within 3 years of trying chanting. I am not saying the girl you are in love with is "the one", necessarily, or that chanting will win you her heart. I'm saying that you will become truly happy and wise and all else will follow.

Trevor