How do I change my life to be happy?

[Been There]

Happiness is a strange thing.
We all think that it depends on things outside of ourselves.
But actually, nothing is further from the truth.

It is our attachment to getting certain things that causes our very unhappiness.
It is our wish to avoid certain other things that causes our very unhappiness.
It is our resistance to the only reality in life ... "Things Change" .... that causes our very unhappiness.
It is our dwelling on the past, our anxiety about the future ... and oddly enough, our very resistance to our unhappiness.

Remember being a child and terrified of needles?
And how, one day, you just relaxed for some reason and that was the day you realized that needles didn't really hurt all that much?

Happiness is like that. You have to be open to everything inside you and that includes your fear and pain, as well as your joy. And you have to live very-much in the moment. This very moment.

You want to be happy? Start practicing Buddhism.
The Buddhist “learns to watch changes occurring in all physical experiences, in feelings and in perceptions. He learns to study his own mental activities and the fluctuations in the character of consciousness itself. All of these changes are occurring perpetually and are present in every moment of our experiences. Meditation is a living activity, an inherently experiential activity. It cannot be taught as a purely scholastic subject.” (“Mindfulness in Plain English” by Venerable H. Gunaratana Mahayhera, a Theravadan Buddhist teacher)

Oh, I know what it feels like to try and get nowhere.
I went back to university in my mid-30's, because I was tired of boring stressful low-paying work. I have a high IQ and I wanted to use it.
After year 1, my husband left me and our daughter.
After year 2, my child was diagnosed with schizophrenia, which was not-responsive to any known treatment.
After graduation, there was a recession and a down-sizing frenzy, and the only work I could find was the work I went to school to get away from.
That was followed by bankruptcy when my ex stopped paying child support, and my child's mental illness became worse. I'd get calls from the day-care demanding that I come get her. Or calls saying to come get her and never bring her back.
I fell in love, but this man couldn't cope with my daughter's illness either. Lost him.

I cried myself to sleep every night for about 8 years.
Then I started meditating.
My daughter is better, I'm still poor, I still work a sh*t job, I now have heart problems and untreatable irregular cardiac arrhythmias. It takes everything I have to work, and I have nothing left over to have a life with it. Still without a man in my life, haven't hugged anyone (besides my daughter) in years.
I'm happy. I smile often. Love life, enjoy life.
It's all in what goes on inside you, my dear.
And really, nothing about what's happening on the outside (and that even includes your physical health)

Happiness is a choice, although you have to know how to make that choice work.
UNhappiness, on the other hand, is also a choice, but it's one you don't have to have any skill at.