What causes someone to be superficial in all their relationships?

[Sarah]

No, actually its just the opposite. She loves them too much but is afraid of getting hurt so she has to wear the smile, and hide behind a wall of strength only letting people get just as close as she can handle. She may also be afraid of how others view her and its easier to be superficial and keep them at arms length than let them in fully and get hurt. I was in her shoes. She sounds like I was. Its possible to overcome it. But it takes YEARS of people who REALLY love her telling her how valued she is, how beautiful she is and how much she is worth! It took me two and a half years of intense love from people at my church and I was VERY skeptical! Not all places of worship show Jesus, and as far as I was concerned, (or had experianced) the church I was at probably wouldnt either... but they in fact DID and it saved my life! I tried to take my own life and failed... They loved me back into reality. REAL love. Show her that! Tell her as her friend that you are there for her and compliment her! Look for her strengths and encourage them! Show her how beautiful she is until she sees it for herself!