I broke up with my first girlfriend, and I am really confused! Please help? (10pts for most helpful answer)?

[dan]

I broke up with her yesterday. She is my first girlfriend. I was with her for a year and a half. The past 6 months there I have had issues and I have gotten upset with her because she is never supportive of anything, and she is rude about a lot of stuff. Then the last 2 weeks, we have been arguing a TON about stuff, and I just felt like I'm not in love with her anymore. She is not nice, and we don't agree on a lot of stuff. So yesterday I told her how I felt, and we ended it. She blocked me on facebook, twitter, probably my number and stuff. I felt really relieved when it was finally was over, I was glad. I stressed about it for like 4 or 5 months, not sure if I should break up with her. And I started not treating her like I used to. So I was happy it was finally over! I sent her a message tho, telling her I was sorry, and that I know she needs time and space to recover so I wouldn't contact her until she is ready and talks to me, but I would like to be friends. But I just have this weird urge to call her, even tho she I know doesn't want to talk to me, I told her I wouldn't contact her, and I am 99.9% sure she wouldn't answer. And I don't know what we would talk about. I want to just see how her day was, but I guess it would be bad.. I honestly want to still be friends with her, and although that usually doesn't work, I wanna try? I'm not sure what is going on in my head right now. I am sortof panicking and freaking out. I don't know why D: but should I call her? This is my first break up, so maybe I don't know what to think, and I truly don't know what to do. :/ I am 18 years old, and yeah, she was my first girlfriend. I am going away to college next year, and that was another thing we argued about, I guess the last 6 months too, because she doesn't want me to go away, and she said that she didn't want to try if i went away, and then she said she would try. I just don't know why I was happy yesterday, and up until like when I sent the message to her about wanting to be friends, i am freaking out!!??!!