How to be comfortable with myself?

[Snow red]

well first of you should know that I'm a freshman in high school

Ok I feel so insecure about myself all the time
I see pretty girls everywhere and I just put myself Down a lot like "why can't I have pale skin like her" or "why can't my lips be like here" idk I'm just really insecure about everything and I ALWAYS care about what people think of me like one time I was trying to be cute so I wore my beanie in school and this random girl was like "take off yo beanie" and I randomly kept on walking and I felt so insecure idk. My friend get called "a big nose" and she does t seem to care i mean idk how she feels but it makes me feel down onmyself how i can let people control me. I don't have many friends. I have LIKe 1 friend basically I mean I have aquaitences that's all. And I'm not talaneted I try to be I signed up for ballet and guitar when I was younger but I didn't LEAR A SINGLE FRAKING THING and I just don't pay attention idk I just copy what the teacher is doing so ya I can't play the guitar or dance and my parents make me feel bad about how i wasted their money and it hurts my feelings i tried my best idk even to this day my dad would joke how i wasted his money and i would shrug it off u knwo but i know it hurts me and i know its true so i feel worse idk. And I'm also not that smart. Because in school everyone understand everything and I just can't seem to make myself focus idk I just copy of people sometimes and I feel stupid because I learn nothing. And I feel like I have no "personality" idk I think I'm very boring because I seem to entertain nobody and I can't hold a proper conversation for more than 2 minuets and I try to "be myself" on twittwr& on tumblr and make some internt friends because idk lol I tried to be a "sass account"but I get extreme social anxiety and I do nothing and I have no friends I'm such a loser I get social anxiety online ok I suck
I think it's the way I feel about myself I don't feel beautiful to be myself