Why didn't my university care about me?

[chris n]

Sorry you are ill honey, but frankly, the way you've written your question makes you sound like a victim just waiting to be punished. This is a university, not a care home. You were sick which made you feel low and depressed and those were the vibes you gave out constantly. Being depressed probably didn't help your general health either as mood can affect you physically. I suspect it all became rather a vicious circle that you were trapped in. I can understand why people kept away from you and you lost friends. It's not a nice thing to happen and I also understand your feelings about it and how let down you feel - but I think you ought to try and understand their feelings too. They are faced with a person who is depressed. When asked how you are, I expect you gave them a blow by blow account of your illnesses. If you KNOW that any conversation you are going to have with a particular person is going to make you feel bad yourself, you avoid them where possible. I think this is what happened to you and your friends. I suspect that this other sick girl isn't a long term depressive and doesn't usually give out 'down' vibes to everyone. Her illness is probably not long-drawn-out like yours was and therefore people can be caring towards her because they can see an end to her problem. Your problem was endless while you were at university unfortunately. I hope that now your illness has been properly diagnosed at last and that you are receiving treatment for it, things are looking up for you. You have left Uni - a place where you were really unhappy - and I think you should put it all in the past. The people there were pretty shallow by the sound of it so it's no great loss to lose them. Move on. All that time is now history. Look to the future instead. Good luck.