Why would a married man want to work things out after he has been accused of an affair?

[Shafter]

Usually men (or women) who get "chummy" with someone other than their spouse--usually in a work setting or a some other situation such as a church group or special interest group--have something missing in their marriage. What they find in other people is a person whom they relate to better than their own spouse. And make no mistake about it---there is usually a strong sexual desire---even if it never materializes. These situations are always potentially dangerous. The person who has "bonded" with somebody they aren't married to, looks for ways to have prolonged contact with that person because it increases their feelings of desire and feeling special to that other person.

His actions are a defense mechanism to keep you at bay. But he still has feelings for you. You need to put this situation behind you. I would look for another job, get in touch with old friends and become involved in some other activity. If you rent, move and don't leave a forwarding address. Change your phone number. Let him get into trouble with some other woman, then maybe his wife will dump him.