I'm a depressed teen girl. Advice please? Please read this I know It's long ..?

[Alexandra]

I'm going to be almost 16 on Valentine's day and just lately and past months I've been feeling kind of depressed. My dad wants a divorce from my mom, even though my mom doesn't want it, my dad is trying to get one soon as possible. He got his own apartment but still sees me everyday and i live with my mom alone in the house (my parents have been married for 31 years) and my 2 older brothers dont live far from me but i barely get to see them so it's just me alone. My mom is really strict. I'm not aloud to have a phone, ipod, or labtop because I need "supervision" cus she doesnt trust the music today and media and internet. I don;t look at anything bad. Never looked at porn cus i know that's wrong and disgusting . I only look at health sites, makeup, facebook, and fashion, etc so she should trust me and i told her but she stil wont change her mind. Im not aloud to go anywhere unless she supervises or gets to know the parents of my friends...My dad has his boundaries but lets me go with friends as long as he knows where i am and he allows me to have a phone, etc. So bascially I really have no social life. Eveen if i was aloud to have one if my mom let me none of my friends would invite me anywhere. I really have no friends. all my friends say im quiet and shy but nice but they probably think im boring that's why they dont interract with me much. I am good friends with this one guy that i liked for 2 years and counting but just found out he doesnt like me back because he has a girlfriend that he's been going out with for like 2 years. He's 15 about to turn 16 also. He only loves me as his best friend. This put down my self esteem cus now i feel no guy is interested me for w.e. reason..if im awkward, quiet, or w.e. No guy has ever asked me out and ive never been kissed. I'm just worried that I will never meet a guy and i feel so stupid having high hopes on my guy frriend that i really liked who turned out to have a gf. Im just a loser on facebook and internet all day long seeing pictures of friends together and all these couples and it makes me feel likes crap. I feel like im just crap and not good enough and feel so lonely. I dont have much family. This christmas was all right and im thankful my family is healthy and alive and i got nice gifts but im sad at the same time because my family is so separated. Everybody goes their separate ways and theres not much unity and communication and i just feel awkward and alone. Im used to be alone and having my own company but after a while it gets old and i start getting depressed. I feel like such a loser I know i shouldnt complain cus i do have a house over my head, food, clothes,all of my family members are alive well except my grandmother who died 3 years ago :/ but I just feel my life is crap right now and ive even gotten thoughts like what is the meaning of life and even thoughts of suicide but i know i would never attempt that. I would never committ suicide but ive gotten thoughts of it at times...have u guys been in my situation? advice? divorce is not easy and being lonely and feeling like ill never meet a guy is no fun either. I know Im still young but i just feel likes ill be forever alone cus im so awkward and I dont know to have conversations with people..:/
I apologize if this is super duper long but if you have read a book you can read this long paragraph so please read and answer I would appreciate it.
I have talked to my mom many times about being more trustful about a phone , etc but she wont change her mind. and My dad disciplines me and doesnt act like my "friend" he acts like a father but is more understanding and not crazy strict like my mom. I can neevr conviince my mom and the thing is i would never want to invite company over cus my moms house is just nasty and full of roaches and my mom doesnt believe in detergents and convetional cleaning products cus she thinks its bad for you (shes a vegan vegetarian whos very cautious of her health and chemicals) and my family is just awkward which is why i would never invite any friend over