Is it weird for social phobia to effect me badly ONLINE?

[Mastersidewalk187]

I've being shy my entire life. I remember in School, I would never put my hand up to ask the teachers for help, but around year 3 I started to put my hand up. I than developed an anxiety disorder and it all went down hill after that. I don't know anything due to not asking for help. My year 6 teacher was a little rude but they had no idea about my social phobia. We were doing math, which was very hard. And she yelled out in front of the class ''Sarah still hasn't asked for help..im waiting''. Which embarrassed me. In class when I was asked to answer a question my heart beated very fast, i got sometimes light headed, sweaty.

It never used to effect me online but now it does. Someone I haven't met in real-life wanted to introduce me to their friends online, and I freaked and made up an excuse to leave the room. I do not join online virtual chat games, I haven't wrote a Facebook status in 2 years almost 3 now. When I have a conversation with someone I can tell they think I'm awkward and they leave or say ''brb'' then they log off 5 minutes later.

I haven't had friends in 4 years. I haven't had an online conversation a proper one since 2010. I see a psychologist and I'm even shy to talk to him. I cry myself to sleep everynight because I see people online with friends, I have none. A bully online told me it's ''my fault'' for having social phobia. When I did counseling in a group session, I actually was so shy I mixed up my words! I have a tutor, and I pretend I understand but I don't because I'm too shy.

Is this severe? Does me being so shy online indicate it's severe? Is it really my fault?