How many Dates does he Need to know whether or not he wants a relationship with me?

[Another Crone]

You met him on the internet and flew out to meet him! That's what players do, dear. In your case, a very shy player and I'm sure he's enjoying it ... but YOUR actions are not the actions of a woman who could claim the moral high ground. You've slept with him repeatedly and played sexually enticing games even if you didn't agree to penetration. It's a strange game you are playing. As if you are a 17 year old virgin who doesn't know any better.

I think, under your circumstances, it is unreasonable to expect a monogamous "relationship" with a man who lives in another state and has only seen you a total of 8 days total. He knows he wants to see more of you. And he likely knows he'd like to have sex with you and romance and fun stuff like that on a weekend every few months but ... I don't think it is realistic to expect a monogamous relationship at this point.

If the two of you are not on the same page at this point... move on. He meets people on the internet. You might try something else.