Why can't I do anything? This question is not what you think.?

[Sharon]

I literally can't do anything. My whole life I was raised to believe everything would be handed to me so I never learned what hard work is or how to accomplish things and now that I am older I realize I'm lazy and don't care about anything. All the hobbies I used to have and things I loved to do I can no longer care about or want to do, I have trouble looking for work because I'd rather sit around and do nothing. I want great things for myself but I'm always tired and I just don't care about anything. I know I am depressed a lot and that is a source of it but even when I'm in a perfectly happy mood I still just don't care. I would like to care but I don't know how. I don't even know how to stay motivated. A lot of people underestimate what I am saying and try to tell me "Just... Go out and force yourself to do something" well, as simple as that logic seems it's not that easy, actually it's damn near impossible. My mind loves to come up with excuses and when I try to convince myself that there is no excuse and do finally do something it lasts for maybe half a day before I'm fucking up again and not caring again. I refuse to go to therapy because I don't have the money for it and I don't have the money for medications so I need to learn how to be successful by myself. Other advice I've gotten "If you're not going try anymore then enjoy being homeless and a loser rather than having lots of money and a successful life" and despite knowing this, I don't care. I mean, I do care in the sense that I get depressed and don't want to see myself like that but for some reason I can't bring myself to do anything or want to do anything. I just don't know why. I think I am self-destructive and don't know how to fix it. I don't know whats wrong with me. All I do is stare at facebook, I don't even refresh it I don't go on other sites I just sit and stare. Why? Why can't I be normal like everyone else and actually do something great for myself?