Why do I sometimes get Violent when I've had too much to drink?

[Jayde Pulford]

I've had a social drink ever since I was about 14 (too young I know). Between the ages of 14 and 17 there was a hand full of times I had way too much and and got aggressive and violent with the people closest to me. People I love. I got into trouble with the police over it and I am still ashamed that I could even be like that and not even remember! Anyway I'm in my 20's now but for the past 2 years it's happened again a few times on a smaller scale. I've got intoxicated and started crying and babbling about things that don't make sense or didn't happen. I've flirted with people other than my husband and got into a fist fight with my friend when she tried to take me home (she got a black eye) I've acted like a psychopath wreck in front of my husband. If he wasn't the lovely bloke he is he would of had enough of me by now. I only know the things I have told you because people have told me! I don't drink every day, I am not dependent on alcohol and I don't act like that every time I drink. It seems I don't always know when to stop and at the point of black out I start freaking out. I just want to know why? I'm not violent, I'm not aggressive. I'm a pretty shy peaceful person and I don't like conflict. I like a social drink but now I'm scared things will go wrong and I'll be humiliated. Does anybody know why this happens to some people? I don't believe that alcohol just takes away my inhibitions and makes me say and do what I really feel because I don't feel that way! I'd love to have a few drinks and a good time without worrying about this. Any words of advice?
I do like to have a smoke and I've never had a problem on that, unless I've been drinking too much at the same time.