how do i convince my wife she deserves better?

[DoubleL]

Its a long story but I will keep it short.

My high school sweetheart and I were all set to attend the same school. At the last moment a girl got pregnant and a scholarship opened up for her at her dream school on the east coast. She wanted to turn it down to stay with me, my mother convinced me that if I cared for her I wouldn't allow her to turn it down. So after a lot of tears and pain she decided to go. We did the long distance thing but over time we simply drifted apart.

Soon after I meet a wonderful girl. We dated for several years and there came a point when she was ready to be married. I thought I was in love so we did it. Our marriage from my point of view is only ok. We don't have any kids. But she is happy. She is excited about everything.

Problem, about a year ago I was contacted by my ex. I don't have a facebook or any social media stuff so she did it the old fashion way. We started talking mostly emails and mostly inbounds and respectful of our relationships. Sadly it grow from that and old feelings came flooding back. We have meet up a couple times in person over the past few months and we've never got physical, not that it makes it any better, we both know that we have already damaged our relationships, her beyond repair and she left her husband in november. Now its time for me to decide. I love my wife I really do, and she is a great woman, but I also love my ex. My ex is like a drug and I can't stop with her. I think it comes down to the fact that I didn't love my wife enough to not allow this to happen. She is wonderful and deserves to be someones first choice, I just doubt I can ever make her mine. Know I'm stuck with convincing her I'm not good enough for her. My mom (yes I asked her) said I'm a coward and I'm only looking back because I'm scared to go forward. I m not being fair to my wife and I need to let her go. My fear is I will regret it. I don't know, this is hard, and I don't want anyone to be hurt or be a bad guy.
Jodie, honestly if it was that simple I wouldn't be having an issue with it. The truth is my wife deserves better then me. She is kind and loving and totally faithful mind body and soul. She is everything I could ask for except my first choice. Sure I could stay with her and we would most likely be happy. But it would be pretending in part by me. I know a lot of the issue is unresolved feeling for my ex. We never had an ending. I also know there is a good chance that its a mistake going back. I just don't know that I can live a lie with a wonderful that should have a man that will give her his total heart.