I don't know what to do, help me?

[James]

15/male. For the past six months I've been feeling really sad and lonely, I'm not really sure what triggered it all but I just feel hopeless. I've been failing in most of my subjects (just passing, usually around 60% on tests and stuff), I barely eat anymore, I can go days without food, I just don't see any point in eating when I am never hungry, the only reason I eat is because my mum pretty much force feeds me. I have become addicted to Self Harm, and lately I've been doing it a lot more than usual(usually it's 1-2 a day, but now it's gone up to around 8-14, just so that I can feel it) All of the time, I feel like I'm being judged, I hate to go out and interact with people, I just don't feel comfortable around other people. Everyday it feels like I'm living a lie, like everything is fake, I feel sad all of the time and if I'm not sad I feel nothing, like I'm numb and not real. SH is the only thing that reminds me that I'm alive. I've told my mum about this and we've gone to the Doctor about it, all she did was refer me to a dermatologist for my skin (pimples :/), then my mum sort of brushed it off, and forgot about it.I don't see any point in living, I can't think of any reason as to why I'm alive, it's just a big inconvenience for me. I've thought about suicide many, many times ( I can't even keep count of how many times I've planned it) but today I tried to drown myself in the pool while my mum was out, I got so close, every time I was just a moment away from breathing the water into my lungs, I would panic and pull my head up. I'm not really sure as to what to do. I don't want to go see a therapist or anything like that, because I will just feel like a psycho. I was bullied a couple of years ago back in year 6 to 8 (I'm in year 10 now, going into year 11 in 2013), but I don't think my friends like me, they're not really reliable, one day they'll be really nice and then the next they'll completely ignore me and go be with someone else, I'm always the backup incase the other person is busy to them. Note: I'm not being bullied or abused, I have a pretty loving family, but I don't really want to burden them.
The main reason I pulled myself out of the water was because I knew I would never have the chance to talk to some of my friends that I've met on Twitter and Twitch.tv ( I know them better than I do my IRL friends), I'm still thinking of going back into the pool (making sure I'm restrained this time, so that I can't chicken out)
Sorry for the shit grammar, punctuation and how everything is just sort of like 'dot-points':/
and sorry for it being so long..
What do I do? **Please no hate or anything like that**