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Is this direct enough? for my a- level course work i have to write a newspaper article on bullying .?
03-19-2013, 09:32 AM
Post: #2
Confused Hal Offline
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I assume your asking for advise.

Good -
Well written, nicely presented,. informative and well referenced.

Development -
It becomes self-opinionated and dictorial towards the end... eg. where you say "certainly NO child under the age of 13 and child that is must be removed" This could sound better as "whilst it has been recommended that no child under the age of 13 should access social networking sites, this is something that parents may not be aware of and therefore could be unwittingly allowing their children to be victims of cyber bullying"
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[] - Confused Hal - 03-19-2013 09:32 AM
[] - Paul - 03-19-2013, 09:38 AM

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